Bloggy Goodness

anger management

2009-01-23T01:39:00.000-06:00

Here I am, under a warm comforter, with a warm kitty curled at my side, while it is in the 60's outside. In late January. I have a few items that have been bugging me, and instead of sending numerous tweets; www.twitter.com/ninjamunkeyI have decided to post stuff here. Odd I know but sometimes things happen......

1) Dear MLB network. I love that Verizon is carrying you. I hate that your commercials feel like 4 am PSA's instead of actual ads. I also hate that it appears you believe there are only two teams in the MLB, Red Sox and Yankees. Grr. Cover the Cubs, or Braves, or anyone. I know that my lowly Rangers are barely a blip on the national coverage, save for the Josh Hamilton story, and I think people are getting tired of that, as great of a story as it is.

2) National news people that want to keep reminding me that President Obama is "the first African American" to be president. He is also the first president to win that I voted for. He is the first president that I felt was "too good". His skin color has nothing to do with it.

3) My biggest rant is about my medical care. I feel like I have gone to a shady mechanic and the parts he put into me are starting to fail. I think the mechanic (doctor) put sugar in my gastank, and sand in my radiator, guaranteeing a repeat visit by me, and another 25 copay. 86 dollar office visit, test that is going to cost me 500 bucks in the end, endless bloodwork that costs more each time, the calls from bill collectors. I am tired of the mail that tells me it is not a bill, but eventually becomes a bill. I am sick of meds that I have to have in order to be somewhat normal, but cost more this month because generics are not available. I am tired of the dry mouth that creeps up in the middle of a conversation making the person I am talking to look at me like a nutjob, due to the medicine. I hate the hours I sit wide awake at night, either from the tremors of pain in my legs and hips, or because one of my drugs has decided to keep me up.

4) I hate that with little income we have right now, everything is so damn expensive. The video games, the take out, the movies and popcorn, all the necessities in life. :) Ok done ranting, off to watch a show about the best Red Sox of all time.

testing all kinds of stuff

2008-08-20T14:21:00.002-05:00

so I am sitting in my doctors office waiting to have an injection into my spinal column. We are testing the idea that my pain is in part due to the swelling and pressure post surgery. We shall see if it makes a difference.

Another test was this afternoon, tearing apart my laptop and putting in a larger hard drive. It was the first time I have attempted deep hardware repAirs in over a year and honestly it was not that comfortable. My back does not hinge in the normal ways so maybe being a hardware tech is not in the cards.

And the last test today? Blogging from the iphone. Seems to work ok but I wouldn't want this to be my only means of update

Well that is all for now. Gotta go play super monkey ball

This and that...

2008-07-31T23:52:00.002-05:00

So I have been meaning to update my blogs for a while, and I post both here and on Myspace, but I forgot my password to log into this blogger site, so for about a month I have been testing passwords until they locked me out for a few days. Then it would let me try some more. Yeah, I have too many passwords floating around. Anyway, I got logged in tonight, and have too many things I want to post, so I guess one of the best ways to cover all of the subjects would be a quick synapsis of things, and write until the pain pills and muscle relaxers kicks in.

-So yesterday I went to the college and got registered. Next week I am going to take the "your so far removed from highschool, you need to take this test to make sure your not in charge of the short bus." test. Reading, writing, and math. I really am not worried about it, hell if I can figure out the proper way to discharge a CRT, and pass an exam about it, I am pretty sure I can figure out what time the bus will get to Denver while going 60 miles per hour. I am considering a career as a Physical Therapy Assistant. Its a 2 year plan. I would like to think I have the drive to keep going after getting my degree and going for a masters in Sports Medicine or something.

-Well suffice it to say based on the above statement, my employer, Apple, fired me for being out for over a year. Man I just realized that I have lived in fear of saying where I actually work. See we were told that if we ever mention the company in a blog, we could be terminated. Well, Apple, Apple, Apple, Apple, retail. HA!

-Speaking of Apple (I can't stop!!!) I have been a bit amazed at the new iPhone frenzy stuff going on lately. The new software on the old phone is pretty freaking cool. I love the applications, like poker, AIM, and Twitterriffic. I just can not believe they have reached a point of running out in the stores of the new models. I just don't need a GPS unit that badly.

-Also speaking of Apple (See!!!) I have decided I am going to test the water by offering my services as a consultant. I obviously have high skills with the Mac, but am also very well versed with the PC, networks, printers, and tin cans tied together with string. I need to get some business cards made, and start passing them out like candy to see what happens. Any advice in doing this would be great.

-I am currently going to PT 3 times a week. Its actually not too bad, most of my stuff is pool and whirlpool based. I half expected pool exercises would be simple, and like a vacation. Yeah right. I work my ass off.

-Tuesday night I was going out to the car to get something around 10PM. Someone had delivered the new phone books for our area, and the cover was kind of a black color. I managed to step onto said book, and roll my ankle and foot. I tried to hold myself up with the storm door, but it just opened to the wall, and I then fell forward. Rolling in an attempt to protect my back and hips, I half land on a 5 gallon water bottle before hitting the sidewalk. Imagine my suprise when my hips and back hurt like hell. I am such an idiot. But see I figure as much as I get hurt, being a physical therapist might be a great career for me, since I don't know how to get a career that allows me to live and work inside a padded room, short of being crazy, or crazier than I already am.

I had more stuff to write about, but the drugs are starting to work, and I'm forgetting stuff. Mabe I can keep up with the password this time, and post more later. Until then, Apple!

I can has memories?

2008-05-07T15:38:00.001-05:00

Forgive me, this is a little late.

On March 28th, I got a text message in return from my mother. I had asked how she was feeling, since she had the flu. The reply was

“Getting better slowly,-Hazel Kitty died”

When I was about 13 or 14, my kid sister was playing down the street with one of the neighbor kids. They both stormed into the house on a Saturday morning with a pillowcase that was mewling and bobbing around. I took it from them and reached into the bag and pulled out a under weight Russian Blue kitten of about 2 months old. She had brilliant blue eyes and was cute as could be. The story we were told was that someone’s dad was not only allergic to cats, he was also a hateful bastard, and was going to take the pillow kitty out to the creek and throw it in. My sister stepped forward, and asked for the cat. She was only 5 or 6, but knew right from wrong (then).

Hazel took to me and began sleeping in my room. She would lounge on my, and was pretty much my cat. She managed to survive my sister, who would dress her up in outfits, and pretty much make her miserable, and she survived an attack by the neighbor dog later in life.

When I left for the Marines, she would sit in my bedroom window, like she was waiting on me to get home.

Later in life, after I was married, she lived in my house for a while as my parents looked for work, but was nearly driven insane by the insane dog we had at the time.

Hazel loved turkey, chicken, and all things meat related. We would bring home scraps from restaurants, and she knew to check my mom’s purse. Her favorite meal was hotwings, even with the spicy sauce.

As she got older, she was not healthy looking, and having had cancer removed from her forepaw about 12 years ago, it may have not been the only cancer she had. But each time I saw her, she was quick to come say hi, and my son got to know her, and fed her chicken at times.

I have 2 cats now, Scout and Dewey, and they often remind me of Hazel. I hope they have long lives filled with snacks and snuggles like Hazel did, despite her rough start in life.

A Little EWWWW for your cheerios

2008-05-07T11:03:00.001-05:00

So we have a puppy. His name is Logan, and he is a holy terror. Not only does he insist on chewing up anything and everything, he still acts less than housebroken. We have done every possible thing to break him of going in the house, including having him spend the majority of his time outside, but he hold it until he can get back in to pee in the house. Each morning we spend 20 minutes running around looking for spots, and cleaning them up. Which brings us to this morning.

Mikey woke up 45 minutes before the alarm, and was exceptionally hyper. I am sure the Frosty I let him have for breakfast was not helping, but when a picky eater asks for anything, you give in, especially with a pain killer brain.

So after "breakfast" I asked him to pick up his toys, because I did not want Logan to eat them for his breakfast. Mikey spent 5 minutes sprinting around the house, picking up his beloved Marvel mini figures. At one point, on a trip with the silver surfer, I heard a thud and crash, followed immediately by a wail and scream.

Mikey had slipped in one of Logan's "spots" and hit the wall with his toe as he came crashing down. He only had a little pee on his jammies, so I took them off of him, put them in the hamper and went to get some clothes. He informed me he could not go to school cause his toe was too "hurted".

As I was heading back to my bedroom where the injured was considering amputation, I heard the following one sided conversation.

M:" Logan no. Logan you pee too much. Its cause of you that I fell down and hurt myself. Logan, get away from me, you might pee on me!"

Trust me, its a fear we all have. Rest assured the foot is ok, and healing nicely.

And so it goes...

2008-05-01T12:38:00.001-05:00

July 23rd, 2007 I had spinal fusion done on the L5/S1 vertebrae in my back. A few months later, after having a miracle-like recovery, I started noticing that I had pain in my hip causing my right leg to turn out, and some pain in my butt. The doctor put me on nerve pain drugs to assist, and kept my flow of pain killers coming.

After several months of testing including CT scans with dye injected into my spinal column (painful and not at all fun way to spend a few hours), MRIs, More CT scans, Nerve response testing (needles inserted into the muscles of my legs and back and then electronically charged) I had something this week called a discogram. This involves taking me (wide awake and no pain drugs or food for 6 hours before hand) into a room, inserting needles into my L2-3,3-4,4-5 discs, the applying pressure with dye and electrical stimulation. If I felt the pain I normally do, on a greater scale, I could tell the doctor and he makes the notes. I feel like the pain involved with that test is one of the most uncomfortable procedures a person should go through, and this was my second one in less than a year.

Yesterday, the back surgeon showed us the results of the tests, and the level above my previous surgery has blown out. On the film, a normal disc looks like a small barrel, sitting and holding my vertebrae apart and being stoic. The disc in question looked like a jelly donut (mmmm jelly donut) that someone has stepped on. All the insides were pushing out on both sides. Since the disc sits next to your nerve system, a herniated or bulging disc can put pressure on your nerves, that is what is causing the knife like pain in my butt, not just my kid sister. It explains why the nerves in my knees are close to dead, and why I can sit for 5-10 minutes in a chair or car seat before my feet go numb. Novocain numb. So with this information, the doctor gave me two options. One was to continue my life as it is, with pain killers and nerve drugs, and hope one day to feel normal, or two, have surgery.

My quality of life to this point is anything but. I cannot sleep well, since I toss and turn, twist wrong in the bed and wake up in a cold sweat with pain. I cannot function enough to go to work, so I have spent the last 10 months watching reruns and the Ellen show. My job was filled about 3 months ago, so I don’t really even have something to go back to. I cannot do much around the house, other than laundry, and even that is taxing with all the bending and stuff. I can not even play wiffle ball with the baby, as much as he loves the outdoors and sports in general.

So on the 19th of this month, in 18 days, I am having a pretty drastic surgery. They will go in the back and fuse the next level of my spine after removing the damaged disc. Then they flip me over and go in near my navel and do the rest of the work. So more hospital time, more recovery time, and more physical therapy are on the horizon. I just cannot wait.

I am going to stop here, but soon I am going to tell you, constant reader, about my journey into trying to get medication to help me through this. Its filled with laughter, tears, and psychotherapy.

2008-02-13T23:18:00.004-06:00

You see my friends have this thing they do on the 12th of each month in their blog, called the 12 of 12. I had been planning on doing one all month, and then realized today that it was the 13th. Doh. I only took one photo yesterday anyway, of my new fancy walking cast for my stress-fractured foot.

Once I realized I had missed the 12 of 12 photo journal day, I decided to keep a running diary of my day. So here we go.

What is a C: drive?

7:30a.m.-Damn, it’s early. With the Dog kicking my broken foot with his puppy dream kicks last night, I barely slept.

8:00-Mikey will not eat his oatmeal, he is too busy watching cartoons, but each time I try and feed him, he yells at me that that is how babies eat. Too damn early for logic.

8:05-Doorbell. Eff. The pest control guy is here. What in the hell? He wants to spray inside the house. Mikey is still not eating, but showing off his cartoons for the guy.

8:22-barely make it to his school before they start. I get some sideways glances from one of the assistant teachers, but I think she is a bitch anyway, so I am not worried about it. Mikey gives me a thumbs up through the door, so he is good.

8:30-Back home, and meeting with a technical recruiter this morning, preparing myself for not being able to return to retail work. The back, the foot, the holidays, I just have my doubts. I have to get into the shower, but bug guy is back there. Hello????

8:47-Ok, he has sprayed back there, I may die of fumes, but I need a shower and have to be in downtown by 10, and already heard there is a traffic jam right in my way.

9:00-Done, and almost dressed. Man that has to be a record.

9:12-I think I need coffee and food. Micky D’s is on my “I have to loose weight” diet today, so I stop for a McGriddle and Coffee. So does everyone else. Crap.

9:50-Some ASSHAT in a white Toyota Camery, 1992 model, has parked in the handicapped spot in front of the building. Normally I don’t use Ali’s card, but with a cast and a cane, and recent back surgery, I use it when I can. But apparently someone who has no card, plates or anything else other than a 500 gallon orange drink has parked in that spot. I would key it or whack it with my cane, but it would only increase the resale value of the car at this point.

10:15-I am informed I have to do a tech analysis on the computer system to see how knowledgeable I am on computers. They give me 30 minutes, and its multiple choice. The first question is “What is a C: drive?”

10:21-Ok done with the test. That was kind of dumb. Ok really dumb.

10:48-Back out on the road. The recruiter had nothing for me today, other than to tell me I scored higher on her test that anyone in the past 6 months. Mentioned a job with a sanitation company, installing systems in the Southwest region, from Kansas south. Ummm no. Thanks though.

11:30-back home, make an appointment for a iPhone visit at the Apple store, since my phone has stopped ringing and going straight to voicemail, and is hot enough to keep my coffee warm.

12:20-Talk to Ali on IM, who tells me she is going to be in southlake having lunch, and maybe she will see me there. I say sounds good, and change clothes. Off and running.

12:45-arrive at Ali’s table breathing heavily from the 3 block hike on the cast. Suddenly realize it’s a work lunch, and she meant she would see me in southlake, not at lunch. Crud. Back away from table with embarrassed face, make a weird mumbled excuse and leave. Go across to Barnes and Nobles.

1:00-Go to bar across street to kill time before my 1:45 appointment, have a beer and food, with the new Mac:Life magazine I bought. Get texts from Ali apologizing, I think she knows I misunderstood, and did 80 to Southlake for what I thought was lunch. Eh, sometimes boys can be dumb.

1:45-Get phone replaced-buy new case for it while I am there.

4:00-Go to Walmart for candy for Mikey’s valentine party, and to pick up cupcakes. Have to dodge guys fighting over the two remaining V-Day cards, despite them being in Spanish and having elephants on the front.

5:30-Damn that line was long, get home, put groceries away, and decide to try and get past “Cult of Personality” on Guitar Hero 3.

6:00-Put together the “zero gravity” bike rack, which also means “zero chance this is going to stay standing upright, and will fall on your feet breaking both of them”

6:20-Dismantle “zero gravity” bike rack and vow to find something better.

7:00-the family and I go to Olive Garden for a pre valentine crowd dinner. Not romantic, but really, with a 4 year old, how romantic can you get? Especially with spilled lemonaid in your lap?

That is pretty much it up to now. Perhaps I will go play some more guitar hero, take my pain pills and go to bed. Tomorrow is the Pre-K valentine party, and I am invited. Photos soon!

Completely, Totally, Hopelessly Useless

2008-01-17T23:04:00.000-06:00

No, that is not a shot at you. See back in the early Spring, we decided to pick up a little bike trailer for the baby munkey at Target. It looked a lot like a big boy bicycle, and since we wanted to start riding our bikes and working toward loosing some of the winter blubber, it would be a great way to get him involved and teach him the fundamentals. I think we even got him a helmet. That was probably in April or May. The best part was it was on clearance.

In July my back got so bad that we had to go in and do the whole titanium rebuild. I think I mentioned something about that.

Here we are in January, and I am still slowly recovering from that rebuild. Baby Munkey, on the other hand, has grown to the height of, well, about here on me. He is tall enough to ride the big boy bike his grandma got for him 2 years ago. Suddenly there is no need for this bike trailer, sitting in its sad little box in the garage, hoping one day to be a real toy.

So in my effort to move around everyday and try to get back to normal, I thought I would take the trailer in the box back to target, and play the "uh yeah it was a gift at Christmas" and try to get at least some of the money back, knowing full well it was on clearance and would only get back like 20 bucks or something. So I go there and am told not only will they not take it back, but I am an evil evil man for suggesting they take it back, and *gasp* I did not have a receipt. So the two of us, me and the box of uselessness, go back out to the car.

I get the bright idea of one of those resale shops for kids. Not to resale kids mind you, but their clothes and toys and whatnot. So I punch one up on the trusty iPhone, figure out where they are, and head that way. It was only like 8 miles away, so no biggie. I go inside to find a woman in her mid to late 40's dressed like she is communicating with the Aliens. She has stars and moons all over her, in her hair, her necklace, and really looks like a left over space cadet. I tell her what I have to sell, and she points out that they don't really buy stuff like that, scrunches her nose, and then says "our sister store usually does"

The sister store in question is Play it Again Sports. Great, great, great store if you need exercise equipment or fad gear. I bed they have at least one total gym there from people that wanted to work out, but were not quite Chuck Norris. So I ask where the closest Play... is and she has no idea. "I would think somewhere close, though." Lady was a brilliant bulb, thousand watts.

I head back out to the car, encouraged, if not frightened a little by Mrs. David Bowie, and again ask iPhone where the nearest Play it Again is located. Not bad really, 18 miles away, 30 minutes with traffic. Well its almost noon on a Thursday afternoon and the temperature is flirting with 35 degrees, so I start driving. Sure it was an area I did not know very well, but I was sure I could find it.

About half an hour later I find the store, tucked into a small shopping mall behind a larger shopping mall. I go inside, walk among the scattered treadmills, and ask the young guy if he buys bike trailers. He said it was the wrong season to be selling bikes of any kind, or trailers, and he would have a hard time moving it. Never mind that 4 days ago I was in shorts and T-shirt and the weather was almost spring like, and had been most of the winter. He proceeds to tell me that the used bike shop on the highway would need something like what I was selling, and I should check down there.

I drive another 15 minutes away, and find the bike shop is closed. I guess it is not bike season after all. Of course now I am on the wrong side of I-35, and have to trek back home by first driving north for about 30 minutes, to go 30 minutes south.

As I take my exit finally to get home, my gas gauge informs me that I am an idiot and have been driving around the past hour and a half burning the almost 3 dollar per gallon fuel like I am Bill Gates. So I sputter to a near standstill at the closest gas pump, put in a few dollars, and go home with my tail between my legs, and a bike trailer sitting comfortably in the back of my Jeep.

Ho Ho Crack Ho

2007-12-24T21:39:00.001-06:00

Christmas. A time for families, for togetherness, and for the spirit of giving. At least that is how I always thought it should be.

Today, we went to my parents house, or at least the orphanage where they work. It was supposed to be a time for the family to get together and celebrate Christmas. My wayward sister was going to join us for the first time in years. It was going to be a holiday to remember.

We got there around 1:30 right as lunch was coming out of the oven. Now because of all of my warnings, Ali knew that my mother cannot cook. She has a bad habit of burning the things that don’t go in the oven, and not cooking the things totally that go in the oven all the way through. So on the way, we stop at Jack in the Box and get burgers. Luckily we did not have to eat very much of it.

We had a fairly good time, watching the baby open his presents, and sitting around doing not much of anything. My sister called once to tell us she was going to be late, since they were working on their car. She called again to say the car was not getting fixed and she needed a ride. So at 5 my father set out to pick up my sister and her current live in guy.

At 6:30 apparently he told her that we were waiting for her at the house with my mom. And she lost it. She did not want to face us. She was turning in a true chicken shit moment. So instead of her returning home, my mother told us that we needed to leave. Let me repeat that. WE were tossed out on Christmas eve. My parents chose my crack head (literally), prostitute (again literally), disappearing sister over their other son and his family. So we left.

Granted my family has never really been good at holiday togetherness or really any other time of year togetherness. But this is the lowest form of, well I don’t really know what to call it.

So my family returned home. We made cookies for Santa and decorated them. We are watching Home Alone and tracking santa on NORAD while a fire burns in the fireplace. Hell with them. We are having Christmas.

I hope everyone is with the one they love this year, and may 2008 be a happy and bright one for you as well.

Now what did I do with my bottle of whiskey…Santa needs a nip.

its been a while...

2007-11-06T23:15:00.001-06:00

So here I am, its November, starting to get a little cooler out there. I am still not working. I managed to push a little too hard in my PT sessions, and injured another section of my back. Friday I am heading back to the pain management gurus, and they are going to inject my spine with stuff to hopefully get me over this and back to my recovery stuff.

I have had lots of time to sit and work with the iPhone, and work on the new Mac OS, Leopard, and I must say, these two additions to the Apple fold will no doubt bring in a few converts. Yay for my stock!

I started out a few months ago not understanding why everyone made such a big deal out of Guitar Hero, to a few weeks ago admitting it looked interesting, to a few days ago feeling like a dork for wanting it, to 24 hours ago feeling like a complete nerd for using it, and a few hours ago from feeling like a digital rock star, all be it quite bad at the moment. What a strange game.

Still reading the Dark Tower series by Steven King. I kept thinking a book is getting sluggish, then turn a page and cannot put it down after that. IF you have a few months to kill, sit and read them, they are quite good, but will manage to hurt your head.

Well that is it for me, a panic attack tonight made this take over 3 hours to write. Time to relax for a bit. Im physically and emotionally drained and need a nap.

Its over...

2007-09-14T14:57:00.000-05:00

Oh Blockbuster online, you have now made yourself an enemy. I have been your devoted customer for now for almost 18 months. I have put up with you sending me broken discs, super scratched media, and in some cases, the wrong thing. I have continued to pay your premium fees, even when you change the terms in the middle, or when one of the best features of your program was almost eliminated. I speak of course of the ability to exchange movies in the store for the ones I got in the mail. I have felt good about our supply/demand relationship despite the 300+ bucks you have cost me. Until this week.

First I get an email telling me that your going to cancel my account. It goes on to explain that am being cancelled because I have reported so many issues with blockbuster media. So according to the email, because of lack of quality media, or the amount of scratches on them rendering them useless, I am going to be penalized.

I call your headquarters and am told that Blockbuster has not given me good customer service and is therefore canceling me. I am told that you are canceling me and investigating my zip code to see if there are other issues in the area, and therefore might be a postal issue. I am told sorry bout that, have a great day.

Here is my question blockbuster online, how is any of this my fault? You rape your customers for a huge amount of money, but never replace old and heavily used discs with new ones. I have a Wal-Mart nearby, and know most of these older movies can be found there.

I call your headquarters again, to ask these very questions. I am amazed at your ability to use security to make sure it is me you are talking to, but am also amazed that your phone operator can hang up on me when he cannot answer my questions. That’s right, he hung up on me. So being the normal consumer I am , I call back, and am again placed on hold until someone drops the line. I assume this is my fault as well, and having reported so many issues with trying to call customer service perhaps I should cancel that option as well.

So here is how I am going to move on blockbuster online. I have already taken screen shots of my waiting list of movies, so I know what I wanted to see. I am going to watch movies that I have here in the binder. I am going to catch up on my Tivo. I might eventually join Netflix to start getting movies again, but I will be damned If I ever put any more money in your pocket.

Especially having gotten this just now.

Hello Ninjamunkey,
Due to problems with your account, we are unable to continue serving you.
Your subscription to blockbuster.com will be cancelled, effective Friday, September 14, 2007. To avoid additional charges, return all DVDs rented online by Sunday, October 14, 2007.

My August

2007-09-05T23:02:00.000-05:00

It has been an interesting couple of weeks. I guess I have been so busy with things in general, I have not blogged. Let’s try this quick hit style, and see if I can get everything caught up.

• Not sure if I mentioned this or not, but after 3 weeks of recovery, we decided to take a day trip to Glen Rose, Texas and check out Dinosaur State Park. It’s a cool little area of Texas on the Brazos river, where there are footprints of dinosaurs that are preserved in the limestone edges of the river. What we did not know until we arrived is that the footprints are only visible after a ½ mile hike down loose rock and sand cliffs to the water. I made it all the way down to the river and back up, so I was quite proud.

• While taking my son to his grandparents for a much needed kid free weekend, my mother announced that she had “twisted my back like yours” and could not breath, could not function from the pain. WE rushed her to the ER for medical attention, and found that there was nothing on the X-Rays or MRI, but they gave her some of the strongest medication I have ever heard. I mean, a patch that is used for Cancer patients was given to her. Needless to say, the baby came home with us and the weekend was cancelled.

• Tossed the wiffle ball to the boy day before yesterday, and while I did not attempt to do full speed pitches, or really break off curves, my back has been screaming for the past 2 days. Perhaps that was a bit early. Its hard to tell him I cannot play, and watch him be sad because of it, so I gave in, but perhaps did a little too much.

• I was supposed to have a follow up appointment with my doctor this morning, but last Wednesday, his office called and told me that my doctor was having emergency surgery himself, and would be out for a while. So I guess I got a reprieve from actual PT until next week. I really am ready to get started with it though, as I would like to start getting more range of motion. Time.

• The Mrs got a IM from a man who had done a great deal of online detective work. Turns out that he is the son of her Grandfather’s half brother. Confused yet? Yeah me too. I guess they had the same father and were both walked out on very early in their lives and never really met. Thanks to the wonder of the internet, he found her.

• Friday I turn 32. I would not go back and change anything I have done to this point, except maybe take better care of my back and knees.

Military vs. Civilian Friends

2007-08-30T20:27:00.000-05:00

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Tell you not to do something stupid when drunk
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will post 360 security so you dont get caught

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Call your parents Mr. and Mrs
MILITARY FRIENDS: Call your parents Drunk as hell and tell them about the fat chick you tried to pick up

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Hope the night out drinking goes smoothly, and hope that no one is late for the ride home.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Know some wild shit will happen, and set up rally points and an E & E route.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Bail you out of jail and tell you what you did was wrong.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will be sitting next to you saying, Damn...we fucked up...but hey, that shit was fun as fuck!"

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Cry with you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Laugh at you and tell you to put some vagasil on your pussy.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Borrow your stuff for a few days then give it back.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Steal each other's stuff so often nobody remembers who bought it in the first place.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Are happy that someone picked up a one night stand and leave them alone.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will Low Crawl naked into the room with a camera and hope for the tag team.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will listen to your relatioship problems and hope it works out for you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will listen to you over a long hard road march, and will help you straighten it out better than Dr. Phil.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Know a few things about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Could write a book with direct quotes from you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Might try to hit on your girl behind your back.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Have spooned with you in the field more than your girl has, and would never even think about doing that.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will leave you behind if that's what the crowd is doing.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will kick the whole crowds ass that left you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Would knock on your door.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Walk right in and say, "I'm home fuckers!"

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will try and talk to the bouncer when you get tossed out of the bar.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will man up and go after the bouncer for touching you on the way out.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will wish you had enough money to go out that night, and are sorry you couldn't come.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will share their last dollar with you, drag you along, and try to steal free drinks all night.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will take your drink away when they think you've had enough.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will look at you stumbling all over the place and say, "Bitch, you better drink the rest of that shit, you know we don't waste.. That's alcohol abuse!!!"

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Want the money they loaned you back next week.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Can't begin to remember who owes who money after taking care of each other for so long.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will say "I can't handle Tequila anymore".
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will say "okay just one more" and then 2 minutes later "okay just one more".

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will talk shit to the person who talks shit about you.
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will knock them the fuck out!!

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will tell you "They'd take a bullet for you."
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will actually take a bullet for you.

CIVILIAN FRIENDS: Will ignore this
MILITARY FRIENDS: Will repost this

10:21 PM - 3 Comments - 0 Kudos -

another week down...

2007-08-07T17:29:00.001-05:00

And just like that, I have made it through 2 weeks with a new back. Things are getting easier. The pain can still be pretty high at times, but its not a constant. I have been attempting to walk every day. Today is my proudest achievement, 1.19 miles in a single session. Almost 2 miles from 11am-5pm. The only downfall, I am afraid I will be hurting later, as I was in serious pain last night after almost a mile. But as I have said before, Pain is weakness leaving the body. Tomorrow is my first post op doctors appointment, and I get to find out if I can reach over my head or pick up anything heavier than 10 pounds. What I really want to find out is if they will let me go swimming. With the temperature reaching 103 every day, I think a 98 degree pool will be nice.

This also marks day 15 with no smoking. So lets see. Back fixed, exercising every day, and not smoking. Holy crap I might be getting healthy before long. Who would have thought on my daily diet of powdered sugar doughnuts I could get to a point where I actually want to work out. I just put on the shuffle, rocked out, and walked. I can also tell that I am moving around a little faster.

I will post again tomorrow when I get news from the doctor. As per usual, I will be bringing sexy back.

one week...

2007-08-01T18:02:00.001-05:00

So its been one week of my Titanium Spine, so I wanted to put down a few things to reflect back on in a few months, when I forget what this week is like. Indulge me please.

1) movement is still limited. I can get around, but getting up and down on couches, chairs and beds takes a few minutes of planning and execution. I am sure as days go by, I will be able to move around a little easier. With 5 weeks to go before I even get close to Physical Therapy, I am going to be atrophy ridden.

2) The pain is still really high. I am taking the strongest Vicodin made, usually every 2 hours. It only slightly makes a dent in the discomfort. Hopefully I can start to ween from the meds, but if I go longer than a few hours now, it feels like someone planted a knife in my back.

3) Simple things are really tough. Yesterday, I tried to get myself another glass of ice water, and managed to spill it when setting it down. So I then went about trying to clean it up, but not being able to bend over, I had to rely on using my feet to clean it up. Of course I am using a cane for stability, and it slipped on the wet, making me feel like a towel twisted. I cannot reach over to raise the toilet seat, so my cane is doing double duty, lifting, raising, or picking up things I cannot reach.

4) I am quite proud of the fact that today I managed to put 2 items in the dishwasher, close it with soap in there, and get it started. Of course, I had to take a break in the middle of doing everything, as I got really tired, but I did it.

5) We have been walking every evening this week. The first night, we made it a good 100 yards from the house, and came back. The next day we added another 25 yards or so before turning around. My doctor wants me to have a few miles a day under my belt by the time I start PT in 5 weeks. My personal goal is to be walking 10-12 miles a day by October. I would say running or jogging, but I am being realistic.

6) Smoking. Something I had gotten very comfortable with doing the past few years. It was a stress reliever. It was a way to chill out. But it also made my hands and clothes stink. My teeth a constant yellow. My son started pantomiming the action of smoking with anything he could, French fries, crayons, whatever. Wanna feel like a heel? Have your pride and joy mimick smoking around you. I smoked my last one on Sunday, July 22nd, around 2am. I sort of miss them, in that way you miss a headache, a toothache, or a rattle in your car that finally gets fixed.

7) That being said, I don’t want to start replacing smokes with food. Its very easy to do. You’re a smoker and you smoke when you get a lull in activity. Downtime at work, you smoke. Day off and your watching tv doing nothing, smoke. Now that I am a non smoker, it would be really easy to munch on something when down time happens. I should have mentioned earlier, but another goal with my recovery is to loose 50 pounds. Im sitting on 247 now. 253 prior to surgery. So 5 pounds is mainly because I am not very hungry. I think the pain pills have a large hand in that. So encouragement is welcome, and if someone wants a walking partner, a diet buddy or a quitting smoking friend, I am here.

That is enough for now. I will keep you posted.

T-minus 18 hours and change

2007-07-22T15:39:00.000-05:00

so we are presently in the car, heading to Denton to take the baby munkey to his grandparents for at least a few days. One of the things that I picked up for Mrs Ninjamunkey is a cell access card for the mac. That way she can post updates to the web on my surgery, and recovery and such. We are going to plan on a really nice rich dinner tonight, maybe fondue. No food after midnight or I turn into the evil grimlin instead of the cute and cuddley mogwai.

More later!

Careful what you wish for

2007-07-19T09:06:00.001-05:00

Well, so much for working right up to my surgery date. We went to see the doctor yesterday, and found out that I will not be returning to work until after recovery. It wasn’t like I begged or anything. Actually I was planning on working as much as possible and building up a little paycheck to carry us until the disability kicks in, (after 8 days).

The doctor was concerned with a rather disturbing development. You see, I have started to loose my hair. Only not the hair on my head, the hair on my legs. Pretty much the same location on both legs, but the areas that are missing within the last week make me look like a patchwork quilt. Or a sick dog. Not sure which. She was concerned that I was having circulation issues. I wondered if the steroids they had been injecting into my back were causing the issue. Either way, she did not want me to be standing for long periods of time, or lifting anything, or doing much more than laying down a lot, resting and such.

So I am now going to be at home. I figure I have 2 full Tivos and a few binders of DVDs. I also got into the Dark Tower series by Stephen King, and that is like 8 books long, each one at least 400 pages.

I think I will also have time to blog a lot more, so if you get sick of reading it, well, hey its keeping me occupied

relief in sight

2007-07-17T20:48:00.000-05:00

I hurt myself today
To see if I still feel
I focus on the pain
The only thing that's real-Johnny Cash-Hurt

July 10, 2007. Int. Orthopedic surgeon’s office. I am sitting in a chair that feels like it has never been sat in before. The burnt orange vinyl is sticking to the back of my legs, and the copy of Sports Illustrated from 2004 is on my lap. My back and legs feel like I have been hit in the lower back with a baseball bat the size of a small Cadillac.

I get called into an office that could seriously use a professional organizer, or at least someone to take out the trash. There are folders stacked around the room. Some stacks are taller than I am, and leaning in such a way that I am amazed they are actually standing. The lady comes in and apologizes for keeping me waiting. She tells me that with the 4th of July holiday she is way behind. I want to tell her that is no excuse for not calling me back, or not answering her voicemails, but really I just want to get all the scheduling done for my surgery and get out of there.

So then she hits me all at once with, we have an opening in less than 2 weeks, so your booked then. The 23rd. She then rattles off 5 appointment date and times for me. 1 test with my regular physician for blood work and a physical. The last real physical I had was conducted by a Army doctor on my way to bootcamp. I am really hoping they don’t ask me to duck walk across the room this time, as I might have to give up. Luckily, they didn’t. The second appointment is for both Mrs. Ninjamunkey and myself with the surgeon and his assistant, going over what to expect during and after the procedure. I am also going to be fitted for a back brace that I assume I will have to wear for a while afterwards. That is coming up tomorrow. The final pre-surgery thing I have to do is give 2 pints of blood to be typed and cross matched so they have it on hand incase they need it.

So I leave the doctors office, fueled with the reality that this surgery is happening. And I started to panic a little bit. We are talking about my spine here, fusing the vertebra together near my hip bone, to allow better strength and pain management. At no point did I hear anything like “all the ice cream you can eat” so it’s a little scary.

My work knows I am going to be out for a while, and I have set up the short term disability paperwork, so I can at least have some money coming in. Of course I asked to use a few vacation days the Saturday and Sunday before surgery so I can spend some time with my family and get things in order, but they could only spare me on Sunday.

My friends have been supportive, asking how they can help, what they can do, what did I need and stuff like that. Sadly, I have a hard time asking for help. Should I be moving, I might ask for assistance after the sofa has fallen off the truck and and is wedged on my head.

So there you have it. I am going under the knife in less than a week. I have spared you the stories of my panic attacks, the anxiety over what might or might not happen, and the tale of how the hair on my legs has suddenly started falling out, which may or may not be due to poor circulation, or medications, or stress. Those are tales for the days that I have coming up. I will spare you the gory details of the surgery and the afterwards, unless requests are made.

put the lime in the coconut....

2007-06-28T23:51:00.000-05:00

Well it was bound to happen, and it did. I had a rhythm going where I could blog on a simi regular basis. I was interesting and had interesting things to say. People around the world looked forward to my musings and could not wait for more. Then, I woke up after life smacked me with that big old hickory stick. So I present for you the past several weeks events, in quick hits style. Hopefully I will not run out of creative juice and be able to add insight.

-Usually the one thing you can say in June in Texas is “eff its hot” well not this year. Instead we have had more rain in the first 6 months than we usually get all year. Towns are floating away, people are floating away, but that damn beer can has been in the yard for a week now, only moving a few inches a day.

-My good friend and fellow Mac guy Devin got hitched. We went to the wedding and partook, partaken, well whatever, we drank the hell out of his open bar. It was a fantastic ceremony with some rain, wind, and kilts all over the place.

-We also helped Devin with his charity event last weekend. Can’t Stop the Serenity is a screening of the movie Serenity, from Firefly the TV series, with lots of fun, games, prizes and lots of people talking about a show that got cancelled on Fox, but still runs in our hearts. The Charity itself is not for the film, that would just be silly, but actually the money goes to equality now, an organization that helps support the right for women world wide to be equal in every way to men, except for the appreciation of the 3 stooges. That is only a man thing.

-As some of you may know, I am a HUGE baseball fan, and a HUGER Texas Ranger fan. Well this year the Rangers are inspiring a “maybe next year” in June. Yeah, that bad, but dammit, I still try to watch as much as I can.

-Some of you also may know that I work for a fruit flavored computer company. Well we have products that have been announced that have made my professional life seem a bit, well, hectic. I can see the light at the end of the tunnel, but because of my NDA, I can only say

-And finally, I just found out today the root cause of all my back pain for the past year. I apparently have a slipped disk and vertebrae that is compressing on a nerve and that my friends is the cleaned up version. So in just a few short weeks, I will be under going a back fusion surgery. 8 weeks or so recovery time. Sounds exciting huh? Just don’t send me the horror stories about your uncle farmer joe that got that dune….I don’t want to hear about it at this point.

I have a question for you....

2007-05-16T22:53:00.000-05:00

You know those questions that people around the world ask, that everyone has to answer one way or the other? Questions that sum up a persons stance based solely on their answer. For example:

“Paper or Plastic?”
“Chevy or Ford?”
“Coke or Pepsi?”

Well today I am going to answer one of those questions.

“Mac or Windows?”

I actually get asked that question quite a bit in my line of work. Neighbors, family, friends, clients, that guy that throws the paper, the mailman,…well you see how it can be.

My answer was always a hedge, a waffle. I could list the benefits of both platforms. I used both platforms, daily.

I went out yesterday and purchased a copy of Windows XP professional, for a clients machine I was working on. 299.99. It was necessary, so I choked it up and bought it. I went to install it, and the factors to install it were pretty simple, but then I got to the registration. You see, you plug in the CD license key, a 16 digit number that makes your install legal. Then, well you call Microsoft and get another key, something like 25 digits,to show that not only is your software legal, its activated as well. And you give them all your information so they know who bought what. If for some reason your hard drive crashes, and you put in another one, you install windows, activate the key from the cd, then activate the windows by calling again, and begging for another key, because your machine broke.

To me there is a trust factor there. Microsoft trusts that your going to buy the software. They know you have to have it. Then they trust you to use your license key from the packaging, because otherwise, the installation will not start. Then they trust you will call and activate that software, otherwise a small grimlin will jump out of your fan in 30 days and uninstall your pictures and music. Or so I hear.

I really am getting to my point. When you buy Mac OS on disk, its 129.00. When you buy it, its activated. When you install it, it asks your name, and then it can send stuff back to Apple, or you can choose to register now, later, or never.

So macs trust you o use the software on one machine, but the ability to install on several is there. Windows, not so much.

I choose Mac. They are to a point now that anything you can do on a PC running windows, you can do on a Mac. Now Macs can even run windows, with the help of Parallels software, or using Apple’s Bootcamp software.
Of course if you install Parallels and Bootcamp at the same time and want to see which you like better, you have to install a copy of XP. Then you have to call Microsoft and get 2 license keys, but they will only give you one. See installing it in 2 different locations on the same machine, they see that as installing it twice, and want you to pony up with another 300 bucks.

So Hi, Im a Mac.

The Long walk...

2007-05-03T21:11:00.000-05:00

Charity. (n) the voluntary giving of help, typically in the form of money, to those in need.

This weekend was the MS walk in Fort Worth, Texas. We have been trying to sign up for at least 1 walk per year, as we are rather dedicated to the cause. So I made sure I was off work, we got my parents to watch baby Munkey, and we found a group of friends that wanted to be there, and created a team, Team Shoutouts.

We all met at the world famous Fort Worth Stock Yards, the site for this years walk. Unfortunately Mrs. Ninjamunkey has been battling a stomach virus all night the night before, and I was battling the effects of several rounds of beer from the neighbor’s birthday party. Hey it was an ice cold keg, what was I to do?

Mrs. Ninjamunkey had checked her blood pressure at Wal-Mart that afternoon, as we were picking up a knee brace for old man Ninjamunkey’s knee, and really did not do too hot. She was light headed and weak, and generally not feeling well. We pressed on.

Meeting James in the parking lot, and finding Robert and Rachel in the sign in line, our team was assembled, and it was time to go looking for swag. You see there are about 900 billion drug and drug like companies that want to get their name out there, so they hand out everything from M&M candies to sunblock. We walked the gauntlet of tables, getting shirts, notepads, water, koozies, and other refinements. I belive at one point, I joked “this is the coolest disease ever”

We started spotting teams warming up, looking like they were about to run a 50K, not a 5k. They had on matching T-Shirts, hats, headbands, and other essentials. Essential if you were to look like a goober. We had a look to our team too. I would like to call it Sandlot baseball uniform. Shorts, T-shirts, and ball caps. Nothing that remotely matched.

After a rousing rendition of the Star Spangled Banner by some chicka, we were told to go.

As we started walking toward this huge archway made of multicolored balloons, Mrs. Ninjamunkey looked at an ambulance nearby, and remarked “maybe I should get my BP checked again, I am not feeling so hot.”

So we interrupt two medics sitting on the ambulance, looking like they were about to doze off, and tell them to check her out. They look at us crazy, so I assume they were there to get swag and drink the free beer later. Her BP was low still, but fairly normal, so they say she is ok. As I help her out of the back of the truck, she begins to look green. She hurries to a port-a-Pot, and its there praying to the seals, she realizes she should not go forward with the 5k. We all agree, and say instead, we will walk for her, since well, we were walking for her anyway. She being the trooper she normally is, I knew she was not feeling well, especially if she did not put up a fight. So the remaining 4 Shoutouts head out.
The first part of the walk is through the actual stock yards themselves, past the loading area that was used for sheep and hogs. As we hike over the uneven bricks, the darkness of our combined humor starts to show its face. We comment on the fact that wheel chairs and scooters would be screwed 2 seconds into the walk. As an old man in a right yellow shirt and duck shaped hat comes back the other way with his cane, I am glad I have the knee brace.

We turn wide, and head down one of the main streets in downtown Fort Worth, I think its called Main street. People are walking past us with huge beers, large barbecue sandwiches, and novelty hats, so clearly this is going to be one hell of a cool walk. We see motorcycles sharing the same road with cowboys on horseback, which I think is how John Wayne and God intended it to be.

So as we stroll down the brick and cobblestone road, we start to joke that soon, we are going to call Mrs. Ninjamunkey back at basecamp and explain that while the walk was interesting, we were going to spend some time in the bars along the way. Drinking our way to a cure. We never did.

We made it through downtown and around behind the stockyards. The change in scenery was abrupt, as soon as we crossed a set of railroad tracks, we turned a slight corner and voila, we were walking past the abandoned swift Amour rendering plant and slaughterhouse. It was like a scene out of a war movie, only the buildings were bombed with grafitti artists as well. I even witnessed some tagging near the top of one building that said “Bagel Hoes!!!” in 10-foot letters. Not quite sure what that means, but I guess someone did.
Everyone on the team, all 4 of us, started commenting on how the buildings and surrounding areas looked like a location used for a horror picture. You know the long haired guy, the social outcast, the girl and the jock all heading into the “haunted” slaughter house, picked off one by one by a guy wearing a pig mask. Yeah, good think it was daylight, cause well I would not want to get picked off today. Not in the mood.
You wanna know the worst part about starting late in the walk? We were behind 4 VERY large women pushing strollers. They were all wearing tie-dyed shirts, and kept stopping to bend over and pick up stuff the kids in the strollers were tossing on the ground, so we kept getting hit with Super fat butt shots the whole way. That makes the walking worse. If I could have gotten away with walking backwards, I would have, but then I would have tripped and had to rely on my team to carry me, then explain to the people who lapped us why I fell. And that would be bad.

So we pressed on, rounding a corner and coming to an area that looked like industrial buildings 50 years ago. The weeds were growing so tall and think that I believe a Sci-Fi person could start the description with “and the alien rock from planet Weedmax fell to the earth, causing the dandelions to reach out with human like faces…” As we passed an old ironworks sort of place, we saw the “pick and pull” auto salvage places. Aaah history. Across from the auto lots, there was an emptyish field. I say empty, because every 4 feet was another piece of medical waste. Seriously. Catheters, Syringes, and who knows what else. Since the relief stations were giving cold water every few hundred yards, I could understand the need for a catheter, but seriously, how would you put one of those bad boys in while walking? We pressed on down the road. Another 75-100 feet or so, we found a half empty, mostly torn trash bag full of store bought saurdough dinner rolls. Apparently this area has one hell of a party when the sun goes down.

As we rounded a corner, passing a group of cheering volunteers, offering more damn water, god I have to pee, we smelled two smells back to back. The first of which was pot smoke. Seriously. Since most every person that lived in the area was on the porch, and since the primary language in that area was a combo hip-hop and spanish, I did not spend too much energy looking for the smoker, but from the smellI would say it was a industrial sized chimney. Shortly after commenting in hushed voices, Rachel pointed out the area smelled “like cum”. Now granted being a guy, I am not sure what the unmistakable smell is, but my nose has been burned by too many locker rooms filled with greenish fungus on the socks and jocks, but she swears by it. So to recap, we have cum, weed, catheters, sourdough, and autoparts. See told you it was a party.

The end was near, well for our walk anyway. We left the barrio, and started smelling horse turds and beer again. The volunteers that were out cheering the teams on had already started packing up by the time we got passed them, and could only offer a half-hearted “woo”. That was ok, we were tired too. And I still needed to pee. As we crossed the final intersection, and made it into the dirt of the stockyards, we realized that we, -all in our 30ishness, unhealthy, can I have extra cheese on that cheese, hand me another beer before this one gets hot, grab my smokes while your there picture of unhealthy- had just walked a 5k without loosing a limb. Mrs. Ninjamunkey met us at the finish line, and announced pizza and beer in the basecamp. I went to find a bathroom.

Greatest invention ever...

2007-04-23T16:15:00.000-05:00

So I have spoken in the past about how wonderful the Tivo personal DVR is. I have extolled its greatness for recording shows that we watch on a regular basis. I have used the Tivo to go back and check out an interesting commercial, paused it to let the dog out, and really use the thing to replay games I am watching, for highlights. Tivo is greatness.

Today, it got better. I ordered a upgraded hard drive for our main unit. We would run out of space after 2 weeks of sitcoms and hour long dramas, and I quadrupled the space this morning. It actually was not very difficult, and I had it finished in about 20 minutes, but I also work on computer hardware for a living

So tonight, I will be watching the Stars. I will then transfer Heros from the bedroom to watch in here. I wont be deleting anything any time soon either.

Fuuuuuudge

2007-04-16T21:05:00.000-05:00

So Thursday I had yet another procedure on my back. The pain, well it was quite present. My buddy Greg drove me to the doctor and then back home, stopping on the way for some food and beer. We had been hanging out on the patio for most of the evening, drinking and generally catching up. We each had our laptops out, being drunk geeks for the most part. My macbook pro, 7 months old, was starting to run low on juice, so I figured I would take it into the kitchen right off the patio, and plug it in.

Foggy from the beer, I set it on the island, plug it in and start to walk away. As I turned around, hearing a faint "ssssssssssss" I saw what can only be described as a walking laptop. You see, under the mac, the mail from that afternoon was sitting piled up. One of those shiney magazine like circulars was sitting under the mac, and was providing just enough to allow the thing to slide.

Of course having had said back procedure a few hours before, I could not leap for it. I could not dive towards the ground, I could only yell "shit" as it bashed into the floor. There was a sickening thud, and as I gingerly reached to pick it up, said a small prayer to the computer gods. I opened the screen saw no cracks (usually at least 500 to fix) and sighed in relief. I mean it was still running.

That is where the reality set in. One of the worst things you can do is drop a hard drive, only thing worse, have it be running. All of the Ipods that fail? Usually dropped or beaten to death because someone runs with it. So for the past 4 days I have been trying to find a way to recover my stuff.

Yes I had a back up. However, when I was working quickly to back up again overnight right after the fall, I hastily deleted my only good backup to make room for the new one.

Uh huh, yeah, your local computer guy, that does this for a living, screwed himself pretty good.

Its just stuff, and most of it can be replaced. I am going to attempt to recover the drive bit by bit, but I dont have much hope. So if you see me sitting in a corner, cursing hardwood floors and the effect on Macintosh computers, well you know I was not successful.

Easter Eggs

2007-04-09T13:01:00.001-05:00

An Easter scattershooting while wondering whatever happened to Shadoe Stevens.

We are recovering from a late Saturday night. We met several of the Amigos for a night at Studio Movie Grill in Arlington. We saw a 10:30 showing of Grindhouse, the new twin feature from movie geniuses Rodriguez and Tarintino. I am going to be the first to tell you, if you liked “Snakes on a Plane” even a little bit, you will love this movie. If you love 70’s bad cinema, you will love this movie. If laughing at the almost absurd concepts of horror schlock, zombie flicks, and cheerleader lesbian prison movies, entertains you, you will love this movie.

We have had digital cable for a few months now. My favorite things to watch? Discovery Health. Especially when I see something that makes me say “Eww what the Fu@k!!!!” Of course I am also digging on all of the home improvement-let me clean your house you dirty slobs-and look what I made out of these egg shells- type of stuff.

The back saga continues. The bulging, probably herniated disc in my lower back is still letting everyone know that it will not calm down, especially me. I have been living on pain killers and muscle relaxers for so long now, it’s a way of life. Im sure your saying, “well Ninjamunkey, how did you make it through a 3 hour movie?” That is easy, pain killer before, and a bucket of 5 domestics during.

This is my favorite time of year. The new grass is growing in over the dirt I dumped in the front yard to level out, so it looks less like a grave, and more like a actual yard. The flowers are blooming, baseball is on the TV pretty much 18 hours a day, and in Texas, it was 87 degrees last weekend, and 40 today. Oh yeah, and it snowed yesterday. HUH? It was 38 degrees last night at game time for the second game of the season. Global Warming is doing a number on us.

Speaking of baseball, this year there are many stories. It’s the 60th anniversary of Jackie Robinson breaking into the majors. I had a hard time believing that the actual year was 1947, as there were still 20 years left in the segregation of the South. Hell the small town I grew up in is still divided ethnically by blacks on one side of the tracks and whites on the other in 2007.

Another story this year is Bonds and his homerun chase. Of course when he started playing, his head was human sized, and now with the help of steroids, he looks like a Rio De Janeiro float. When he passes Hank Aaron this year, will anyone notice? Will he be celebrated, or will it be an asterisk notated record for everyone else like it will be for me. I honestly hope he has some sort of freak career ending injury this year, like he is running across the outfield after warm ups, and a vindictive groundhog trips him, breaking his leg. Of course I am kinda cruel like that.

Vas O no Vas

2007-03-22T11:06:00.001-05:00

So here we are, a week after my back “procedure”. Not sure what else to call it other than a “procedure”. If someone impaled you with a shish kabob skewer on both sides of your spine, injected something, and then you walked out feeling like someone had told the Hummer that hit you to back up, what would you call it? Needless to say, its been a week, and there is still pain, not nearly what it has been for the last 18 months, but enough to get my attention if I do too much.

The best part about my recovery? I planted some flowers in the garden 2 days ago, and have hurt since then. We are gearing up for a week long jaunt to Austin and San Antonio, and I should feel wonderful for that car ride. Where did I put that refill order for pain meds?

Having been off work for a little while, I have been catching up on movies and music and wanted to provide my opinion of some of the stuff I have caught lately. Use it as a guide for your Itunes shopping, or not.

Movies-
Rocky Balboa: It’s cliché, it is over the top, not that realistic, kinda slow going in the beginning, and of course the last 40 minutes suck you in just like the other Rocky movies, short of number V. A good watch, and not too bad of a flick.

Teanacious D…: Oh my god. Back when I was a super stoner, having the ability to load a bowl, smoke it, cook a frozen pizza and have it ready to eat by the time the munchies hit all while rocking out to Pink Floyd and watching a lava lamp, this movie would have kicked ass. Instead, it was confusing, lame, and geared for the new generation of stoner.

Departed: Ya know, this movie everyone loves. They say how wonderful it is, how action packed, how great blah blah. It was ok. Deffinately no Good Fellas. I thought it was one of those movies that in 5 years when it is on AMC, I will watch the edited version, figure out there was something I missed, and enjoy it. Until then, eh.

The Prestige: Ed from the Barenaked Ladies summed this movie up perfectly when we saw them in concert this winter. “ya know, this is one of those movies that you know it is going to have a twisty ending. So it builds builds builds, and suddenly you realize that the twist is this movie is just not that good.” Word.

Stranger than Fiction: I was worried. It has been compared to Eternal Sunshine… and honestly I made it about 30 minutes into that one before I just turned it off. However, I loved this movie. Yeah it was quirky, and kind of odd. Will Farrell in a serious role, I had my doubt that Frank the Tank could do it, but I was really pleased. One of the better movies I have watched lately.

Music:
Instead of listing why I like what I have heard, I will just list what I have listened to lately, and you can check it out for yourself.

Three Days Grace-One X
Sister Hazel-Absolutely
Norah Jones-Not too late
Melee-Everyday behavior
Justin Timberlake-Futersex/Lovesongs
Foo Fighters-Skin and Bones
Fall Out Boy-Infinity On High
Del Amitri-Hatful of Rain (best of)
Daughtry-Daughtry
Burden Brothers-Mercy

This is a look at my pop culture obsessed life. If you have questions about why certain things I like, I can break it down, just let me know.

Coupla things...

2007-03-10T15:37:00.001-06:00

First, be very careful with all of your stuff. I learned this last night. I have parked in the same parking garage for over a year now. I have never heard so much as a bump while in there at night. Its well lighted, and I often eat lunch sitting there while reading, so, obviously I feel safe.

Last night, someone broke into my Jeep, taking my Ipod, sunglasses, radar detector, pain pills, cigarettes, andother various things. Can you believe that? I mean seriously. Don't fuck with a mans automobile. That is a rule in these parts. So I call my insurance agency, and according to auto claims, since no major damage was done to the car, its a home owners claim. Saaay what????

Also, while surfing the web of late, I have noticed that some sites that used to link me no longer do so. I have been de-linked. I know it was not updated for a while there, but damn, some of the past content was decent. Someone might have wanted to read it. But no, just deleted the links on your sites there bubbs. Hey, I understand. But I would have at least sent emails out saying, "hey your site sucks, we dont want to link you anymore".

It really comes down to being the perpetual fat kid that got picked last for kickball, was always the "best friend" of anyone I had a crush on, and not being cool enough to get invited to the "real" party after graduation or prom, I went bowling instead.

Oh well....

I'm Baaaaaaaaack

2007-03-05T18:50:00.000-06:00

Hello there. Its been a while. Life is one of those things that gets in the way of me updating this blog with the regularity I would like. Today, I have a collection of quick hits, just to get back in the swing of things. We will see how long it lasts…

I have a back injury. Not sure how I did it. Not sure what I did. The solution for over a year was pain killer and muscle relaxers, until I visited a place called the Texas Back Institute. They have done some testing, taken the MRI and even went as far as injecting me with steroids and pain meds on Friday. Granted I have more range of motion, I still hurt like hell, so lets hope they find a solution soon.

So the short lived family reunion with my sister ended as abruptly as it began. Granted, she took us for 600 bucks, and we found out all sorts of juicy info like the arrest for prostitution, the DUIs, and stuff like that, but she has gone the way of the McRib, not to be seen for at least another year. Her current husband, well one of several, still talks to us, but that is about as far as it goes.

I am officially a Heros addict. I love this show. Rarely in life do I plan my evening around a certain show, especially being in the Tivo world, but this one I rush home to watch as soon as I can. If you have not seen it so far, why not?

The iPhone has generated a lot of buzz. Seeing as I work for the un-namable fruit flavored computer company, everyone seems to want my opinion. My position is simple. People have massive coronaries every time their iPod freezes, or the battery does not last. Add bluetooth, wifi, and phone abilites, and I can only image what sort of fit I am going to hear about on a daily basis. Besides, I want a phone that works, that answers and makes calls, for 600 bucks, it had best make breakfast for me.

Brittany Spears has lost it. Anna Nicole is dead. Enough already, I am tired of hearing about it. If Spears goes after Anna Nicole, who rises from the dead and they have a ultimate fighting match, and it’s a tie, then I might be interested in the news of that event, otherwise, I am done.

Springtime, when seasonal allergies are running crazy, the lawn is starting to remind me that I have to mow the damn thing, the shorts get shorter, and baseball is back baby. My Texas Rangers are on top of the top, looking great and in first place. Granted no one is tracking who is in first, but dang it with all the teams tied, I think it counts. Mark my words, there will be a team in the world series that everyone will look at and go “really? I thought they sucked”. I know, I can call em every year.

Looking back, I realized that I use the word “granted” a little too much. I sound like a fricken Genie.

Post 100

2006-10-11T14:29:00.000-05:00

This is the 100th post of this silly little blog. Amazing to me that I have been dedicated to it enough to post things here. Also equally amazing is the fact that people actually come here and read it.

So in my spare time, (when I am not playing online nintendo games, fighting with my employer over a replacement laptop I should have gotten 2 weeks ago, or working, living on pain pills, and sleeping) I have been working on a blog. It’s a great blog. Its about an incident that happened over a month ago now, with my crack headed sister. It’s a scathing review of her attitude, her outright disregard for my safety, and being a dumbass spoiled kid. But I have yet to finish it. Its close to being finished, but that is as far as I have gotten.

We have been invited to the crackhouse this weekend for a BBQ. I actually got an address from her this morning. If it turns out to be fake, I will be posting my blog that was written over the course of the past month. If not well…I might post something anyway.

Whiskey-Tango-Foxtrot???

2006-08-23T08:39:00.000-05:00

So recently I find myself watching TV at night after the rest of the munkey casa has retired for the evening. One of the disadvantages to this is the fact that I am watching live TV, not something from the greatness of the Tivo box. See, with Tivo, I can fast forward through commercials and get back to programmed goodness, not commercials that sell me everything I will ever need.

Since I have had a chance to catch a few of these advertising gems, I wanted to comment on them.

1) There is an ad for a Fungus remedy for your feet. Yes that is right, a fungus amoung us. The ad itself is not more shocking than the "meet Bob's woody" or anything else. What is the bad part is the cartoon cracked out cat looking thing lifting up the cartoon toenail and climbing in like its a damn hatchback. *shudder*
(upon searching for commercial links on YouTube, I was not able to locate this one, and a Google search turned up that I am not the only one disturbed by this commercial.)

2) Man Laws Ok, I get it. Guys have rules about certain things that are unspoken, and drinking a beer with Burt Reynolds will create said rules. Wait, Wha...?

3) Head On. Apply directly to forehead. I think I will stop there.

4) Orbits Gum You know the campaign with the British chick and the filthy mouths or whatnot. The ad in question is the Snoop Dogg ad, in which Snoop drops into Hell with some old ladies and a goat and told that because of his dirty mouth, he is there forever. And then British Chicky shows up. You then see Snoop in a white room with hot chicks and whatnot. IF you can, read the fine print as it shows Snoop tripping gansta like in God's Crib. It says and I swear "dramatization: Chewing Orbits will not get you into Heaven." Have we really gotten so insane as a society they have to have a disclaimer on a freaking chewing gum commercial? Why dont they also point out that when you chew their gum, you dont get that little light sparkle from your teeth afterwards? I am going to sue.

Sugar mommas and daddys alike...

2006-08-10T21:03:00.000-05:00

If your hunting for the munkey's next birthday gift, look no further than here....

Munkey Birthday

That is NOT a fastball!

2006-08-10T16:06:00.000-05:00

You know, everyone has memories from childhood. Those moments at the fair, or that time you got to drive the new family car. My childhood was really nothing to write home about, but I was for the most part a happy kid.

Many of my memories were stored on videocassette, things like graduation, prom, my days at school, plays that I was in, and little stuff like that. For much of my adult life, those tapes have gathered dust at my parents house, or in a storage shed somewhere in between. Recently, my parents have realized that as far as children go, I was going to be the best of the lot. My sister is somewhere in the world, drugged out of her mind, and living it up, without contact from the rest of her family.

When my grandparents health became a concern, my mother realized she had things I should get, because I was the only family member that had a stable life, a house, and she could not find my sister. So I was gifted with a stack of videos and photographs. Of course my father told me I should duplicate the videos and get them back to them as soon as possible, I guess because they need a placeholder for the dirt, dust and grime in their house.

So recently I started going through the tapes, to see what was there. Oh look, my graduation ceremony. My senior and junior proms, or at least me and my date showing up in fancy garb, and my parents making the usual parents lines. Me at the radio station I worked at my senior year. A few play that I was in. I had visions of putting those tapes on DVD and having memories forever.

Until I got to the first tape. There is about 10 minutes of video that appears to have been recorded on super high speed, so that is not usable, but really it was just footage of our family vacation to Las Vegas. Yes that is right folks, some families go to Disney, we went to Vegas, baby. After that first 10 minutes, it was…well, it was a Lifetime movie starring Kate Jackson. I am not kidding here, the next 2 hours was dedicated to a movie. But I went past the movie, and by the way, VCRs kind of suck. I have become used to DVD and chapters, not manually hitting the fast forward button. But I digress, after Kate, we have Unsolved Mysteries. Lovely.

I move on in the tape rotation to what was supposed to be Nolan Ryan’s 300th victory in Milwakee. I rewind the tape to the beginning and hit play. I am greeted by a, well to be honest, it was a dick. No really. Apparently the tape had been recorded at least halfway, by porn. Bad, 80’s porn with a title like hot milk maids of san diego or something. Seriously. I hit the forward button, probably sooner than I needed and harder than I needed, but really, I did not want to venture down the “my parents recorded over some of my favorite childhood memories with bad 80’s porn” nostalgia. Part of the game was still in tact, but now I am not sure if I want to burn that to a dvd. The special place in my heart has been wiped out most effectivly now. Thank you very much.

So I guess I will quit worrying about those tapes while I have some wholesome memories left.

Charity...

2006-07-28T21:53:00.000-05:00

I have not written in a while. To be honest, all of my good ideas are ways to conserve energy or to stop the nagging back pain I have had for the past few weeks, not things to update you, the reader about.

I finally have something i would like to say. Charity is one of those things that as a kid, did not realize the importance of. To me, people collecting money for other people was kind of odd, since as a kid, we did not have any ourselves. As I have gotten older, things like charity have a way of creeping up from time to time.

I will be the first to admit, I am frugal with the money I make, or I try to be. When I was with the Marine Corps, we collected toys for kiddos, usually making noise around Christmas time. Sure we collected toys year round, but the only time a real influx of things came in was at Christmas. Sadly I think that is the only time many think of giving to others.

Mrs. Ninjamunkey has MS. That is not a form of Microsoft programming, but Multiple Sclerosis. Those folks with the National MS society do a lot to raise money, not for themselves, but so that others mind have a cure someday. I am not too jaded to think that there is a cure somewhere down the line. She is in a walk, to benifit MS research, and I have signed up. Stop by her site, pledge, offer support, or sign up to walk with us

https://www.nationalmssociety.org//TXT/personal/default.asp?pa=55297353&pd=TXT0EWLK20060923BCP

My good friend Devin is doing the blogathon, 24 hours of posting coming up on Saturday, his site is http://blogathon.org/sponsor.php?blog_id=166
he is supporting a great charity that brings baseball to families that only deal with things like bills, doctors, and sick children. Its worthy of your time, and money, and I would not steer you wrong.

I say all this tonight because in my life, I do not get a chance to help. Not helping bugs me, because I am sure there is some way i can make a difference. Maybe the first step is reminding people that charity is something that happens year round. I know charity starts at home, so if your broke, we are not begging you to help. We understand that times are tight, gas is 3 bucks a gallon, and life does not get easier as the tempature goes up. But if you can, do, if you can't find someone that can and tell them about people trying to make a difference. That is all we are asking.

little stuff, here and there

2006-06-20T20:30:00.000-05:00

Lots of little things today, as I am writing this as I am working, and have 3-4 minutes between customers to type…

--I am now a bandwagon fan. I have watched the last 4 Dallas Maverick games, and truthfully, they are quite fun. I am not much of a basketball person. When I was in the 8th grade, I was on the team:

4 minutes left, almost the last game of the season. I have sat on the bench most of the season, mainly because I was fat, and was only on the team because I was a Captian of the football team. I get to go in because everyone else was injured, the stands were drained of useable people. I jump up and get in there. There was a shot, I jump. I get the rebound. I shoot. I make it. For the other team. My career I had -2 points.

--Having family visit is nice. I prefer a nice tall glass of gasoline, next time. Thank you.

--I understand your machine is business critical. I am glad you recognize it is going to take at least 5 business days to get you fixed up. What I don’t understand is how you can have a business critical machine, it’s a laptop, there has never been a backup, the last update was during the Regan administration, and your screaming at me. I might just forget to order the part tonight. *Shocking abuse of authority*.

--Why is it that every aspiring film-maker, novelist, photographer, musician, and everyone else I have encountered for the last 2 days are dicks? Seriously? Everyone knows more than I do. Why did they come to me for assistance in the first place?

--#1 sign you have too much money. You bring your laptop in to get a quote on replacing the “little piece of plastic over the keyboard that has a crack in it” and wander off to look at new software. Then leave the store after buying the software. Leaving the computer sitting on the counter. 2 hours now, no one has called to claim it. I would take it, but that little piece above the keyboard is broken. Sheesh.

--Parents, inspect your childrens clothing before they leave the house. Drop in on them in public, cause you know they have a cell and and can tell you where they are. Shorts that have a ass cheek hanging from it, that is not cool. Pedofiles around the country are rejoicing at summer, don’t help them.

--Ok mr. “I was on the apprentice” I get that you want to be famous. I don’t care that you were on TV. Your computer broke just like that other guy that works on sprinkler systems.

3 years ago...

2006-06-15T13:04:00.000-05:00

Three years ago, i was in the middle of a single state of euphoria that has lasted the test of time. My lovely wife (Mrs. Ninjamunkey) was exhausted having just given birth to our son, Baby Munkey. Here was this little bundle, no bigger than a minute. His deep blue eyes (the color of the sea) were wide open, and taking everything in around him. He has an expression, I can never forget, it was not fear, or shock or anything else. It was an expression of learning. I see it on his face constantly.

Baby munkey is a brilliant child. exhausting, but brilliant. He wants to know why and how, when and where. He likes to play I spy, and has gotten quite good at it. He loves party peoples, his big dog Wrigley, and his star wars men. He is happy watching a movie, or playing on his iMac.

He loves to go to his grandparents, and loves a good popcorn and soda night at the movies. He is a great swimmer, all be it a beginner, and is not afraid of anything. He loves to eat spaghetti, watch little einstiens, and never stand between his apple juice, he will take you out.

He can hit both left and right handed, sings along with the radio, even if he doesn't know the words.

Most importantly he is my boy. I am amazed by him everyday, and wish I could let him be little forever.

I love you buddy!

Lets all go to the lobby....

2006-06-10T09:17:00.000-05:00

So we took the baby munkey to see "Cars" last night. It was the first Pixar release that I went to and did not feel creepy since I did not have a kiddo with me. First let me say, NEVER go to a kid movie on opening night unless you want to be squashed by little gummy children and thier over bearing parents. But I get ahead of myself.

We get to the theatre, and realize that everyone in town has the exact same idea that we did. I stand in line, waiting to get tickets and realize that the woman in the little glass cube is about the biggest bitch I have ever heard. She is rude to everyone that comes up there, and since you have to lean down and speak into a small 3x3 hole in the glass, cannot have a decent experience.

I request my tickets "2 adults for the 7:30 showing of Cars" and she mutters something about, well, something, and then says "Seventeen Dollars"

What? When the hell did it become the norm for people to have to take out a small loan in order to go to the movies. These are not Shiatshi Massage chairs. There is no one handing out champagne and hot towels, this is a sticky floor, seats that once had a color other than oil change brown, and audio that might as well be ear drum splitting for the previews, and too low to hear for the feature, right?

What to families with multiple children do? Well I know what I would do, wait for the DVD.

Anyway, we go past the counter, and into the snack bar line. I would have carried my own stuff in at 10% of the cost, but since they have outside food and drink detectors at the door and search your belongings, we decided to just buy in the lobby. WE got popcorn, drinks, and hotdogs since we had not had dinner. 22.50. Ok for those of you scoring at home, that is ...wait...too early for math, 39.50 for our outing at the movies.

The movie was good, dont get me wrong. Apparently this particular cinema decided to crank the volume for the show, since there were going to be more kids there than a Michael Jackson slumber party, so it was almost to the point of painful for the race sequences. If your kiddo is under the age of 6, the movie is going to be over thier heads, but its pretty so it kind of works. Its also a little over 2 hours, so have fun keeping them interested, I suggest a pocket full of starbursts (shh dont tell)

Now I am back to work, trying to pay off the debt that I now have to the Regal cinemas.

Think about your Troubles...

2006-05-25T08:25:00.000-05:00

So today begins something for me, something so special and wonderful, I felt the need to post about it.

Today is the first of 4 days off in a row.

I actually have to work on Memorial Day, but at least I go into it a little more rested. Or at least having not been at work for a few days. Resting, well I guess that is something that people do when they retire. I started a list last night of things I want to get accomplished, and for some reason, I think i am more overwhelmed than when i was at work.

-Texas has now officially entered the 3rd level of hell, or "almost June" so I pretty much need to work inside, or find a giant block of ice to sit on if I work outside past 5AM.

-Having a job that is heavy in its interaction with the public I would like to take a moment to give each of my readers a little lesson. *this message is not endorsed, recommended or otherwise sponsored by anyone other than myself* If you should find yourself in a situation where a Clerk is working with you, pop a mint. IF you want something from said Clerk, ask nicely, don't be an ass. Have you ever heard "more flys with honey than vinegar"? Believe it. Be nice, and Clerks around the world will go out of their way to help you out. Be an ass, and be thankful you get anything at all out of us. I know we all pretend to listen to your story about why XYZ product will or will not work for you, but really, we don't care one way or the other. We were not put on this earth to serve you, and are there because the other people we will talk to today make our jobs seem worth the time. You, being the rude, complaining, whining, irrational, dumbass in our face, we really don't listen. Oh yeah, and for the daily "If you really want to know how to make this company, product, or service better, you should..." What the hell do you do for a living there Mr. Marketing? I don't want to increase market share, public opinion, or anything else. I typically want you to go away, after buying something expensive, and wait for the return of my good customer.

-Sorry about that last bit, its my first time in retail.

-Public service announcement #2. Should you find yourself in a situation where you need to give out your email address to someone, create a sales and marketing email address with Gmail. If you need an invite, drop me a line. I have some to give away. But seriously, when the question comes up "do you have an email address?" Please for the love of dog, never give out the "hotyoungstudwholuvscock69@AOL.com" for any reason other than well dont give it out ever. That goes for you too DIVAPRINCE1999@comcast.com. I mean if "ihateannoyingpeoplewithstupidemailaddresses@gmail.com" was too much to remember for me, try first initial and last name. It works for most major companies.

-This last little bitch goes out to you technology mockers. You know who you are. I say "I was listening to my iPod on the way in...." You follow it with "you only have an iPod??? I have XM!" I say "I got the new 15 inch laptop", you say "HA!! I have the 30 inch display and a dual processor with 100 gigs of RAM." I say, "I get laid on a regular basis" you say "I am a level 99 Mage with a steel axe!!" Yeah, thought so.

When ya got to, ya got to....

2006-05-09T13:17:00.000-05:00

Work is kicking ninjamunkey butt, trying to figure out the hell that is retail schedules.

but until I have a full fledge day off with nothing to do, *like that will ever happen* I have a little story I wanted to share.

We are in the process of potty training the baby munkey. He is doing great, and likes to remind us that he wears undies now, not diapers.

One of the best things about retail is that I can take him to daycare everyday. I like spending those quality moments with him, before he gets awake and can be a handful, and is only a little grouchy.

With the new potty training, we have made it a habit that when I wake him in the morning, the first thing we do is go to the potty. This morning, as he was half asleep sitting there, he looked at me and said:

"Daddy, sometimes I just dont hafta go. That's all."

My boy, growing up, getting smarter by the day.

Yup, I'm 12...

2006-04-13T11:57:00.000-05:00

So the baby munkey has a favorite TV show. his favorite? Elmo. While Elmo does not have his own show (a little parental insight for those that do not have kiddos) he is featured in the last 20 minutes or so of each episode of Sesame Street.

Yes, Elmo talks in that high pitched, gears grinding sort of way. Yes, Elmo does refer to himself in the 3rd person. Normally, he does have a good message, either about sharing, dinosaurs (a casa favorite) or music.

Yesterday, Babymunkey and I sit down to watch some Elmo before he left for daycare. Elmo starts each episode the same way, introducing what he is thinking about. Imagine my shock, failed attempt to hold back the laughter, and un-easyness when the episode started like this.

"Hi boys and girls! Know what Elmo is thinking about today? Ya-ta-da-da! Balls!!"

At this point I glance at the screen. Elmo opens the door, and various tennis, soccer, base, foot, and basketballs fall into the room. Elmo has a fish named Dorthy. Ya wanna know what Dorothy was thinking about as well???

BALLS!

They ask a recurring character named Mr. Noodle how he plays with his balls. The balls bounce around the room. The balls are not always round, and come in a variety of colors. Some are big balls, some are small.

The ninjamunkey was beside himself, not wanting to die trying to hold back the flood of laughter, guffaws, and tears that really really wanted to show themselves, for fear that I would have to explain to my almost 3 year old why I was laughing. I held my breath.

As the show was ending, various balls filled Elmo's house, and this was after watching the ball channel on his TV, and talking to his balls about how they like to be played with. I was doing so well.

Until Baby Munkey looked at me and said "wow, that is a lot of balls daddy"

I give up.

almost a month

2006-04-11T10:04:00.000-05:00

Yes, its been almost a month since I last put something up in this little corner of the world. Gald to know that some of you are still checking in on me. I do live, and I do live quite well these days. I have found that working retail hours is something that takes longer to get used to than say, a normal 9-5 corporate job, but I am making due. the bad part is that with my company, anything I say has to be shielded with the non-compete non disclosure type of clauses, I have anything rarely to say that does not involve the day job. Things are plugging along at a pretty frequent pace, my sister is still a crackwhore, and well beyond that, we live day to day. Farewell my friends, I go take a shower now. Gotta go to work in a few

Coming soon...

2006-03-15T22:58:00.000-06:00

Something new, not so depressing, and hopefully full of laughter. But first, an attempt to get a little shut eye. Day off Friday, and I will post then I am sure. Maybe. But then again, I might be sleeping. Damn jetlag....

A sampling...

2006-03-04T17:22:00.000-06:00

Here is a list of things that I have learned over the course of my first week in Cali....

1) Northern CA can get cold at night, and sometimes during the day-a heavier jacket would have been a good idea because 50 in Texas feels a lot warmer than 50 here.

2) Time changes kick your butt for the first week, no matter how seasoned of a traveler you are

3)

4) Local news varies from place to place, but each news cast ends with a human interest story with something about a twinkie, a dog with one eye, and a boy that can only hear when he listens to his iPod.

5) The comforts of home do not follow you, they only haunt you

6) Hotel pillows and beds only look comfortable. In reality they are as squishy as biscuit dough.

7) Speaking of biscuits, food in another state may look the same, be in the same restaurant chain, but is vastly different

8) Sushi is waaaay more popular that I thought, but only reminds me of the awesome chinese food I cannot get here because the hole in the wall corner joint is no where to be found.

9) Mountians with clouds over them, with snow on them, or in the distance look so perfect, you think they are fake

10) Drinking whiskey while in the hottub will not only make you feel more drunk, its a bad idea.

11) I am not 22 anymore, and cannot drink shots like a young guy. Bleech

This will all make perfect sense, someday

2006-03-03T19:28:00.000-06:00

Day 5 of training has been recorded in the books. I now have a weekend in front of me. A weekend of sightseeing and picture taking, the complete tourist package. Damn only 5 days. I look back at day 1-3 and they are a haze. Sometimes life moves so quickly, the only choice you have is to ride the current, hoping to keep your head above water.

I feel like the family I was complaining about not seeing enough is with me though. They are my water wings in the river of life. Damn that is poetic, or pathetic, depending on who you ask.

2006-03-02T23:14:00.000-06:00

Just testing a new application that will let me post from a cool new application....nothing to see here move along

I should be sleeping

2006-02-28T04:10:00.000-06:00

Sometimes, my mind does not turn off. Or I cram so much crap into it for a test I have to take, that I cannot go back to sleep. Tonight, I studied too much, cannot turn the mind off, and I miss my family.

So here I am, in the the land of bronze tans and boobjobs, but have not seen the sun since I have been here. Today, as I looked through the continous driving rain, I think I spotted mountians in the distance, or maybe I was looking as some evil clouds that happen to be black. Its rains, a lot. All day. And night. The swimming pools are starting to run over. They look so inviting, steaming from the heated water, and yet the stinging rain that drives me back keeps me away. I feel like Forrest Gump.

I have felt isolation like I have right now, only one other time in my life. Bootcamp. I was stuck there, not knowing anyone, overwhelmed stepping from the bus. I knew my family was back home waiting on me to come back, thinking of me often. I would bond with the people I was living with, out of exhaustion, fear, isolation. So I study. I focus on the task at hand. I remind myself that I will excel, and do all of this with flying colors.

Its who I am. Who are you?

Landed...

2006-02-26T22:16:00.000-06:00

So here I am, in a state on the west coast, getting ready for 2 weeks of training for the day job. I have plush corporate apartment, sharing with one of my coworkers. Its pretty cool for the most part, but would be much better if I had Mrs. Ninjamunkey and the baby munkey here to share the bed with me. Yeah I know, odd. So I decided I would post the first of my west coast blogs, and share what I was writing on the plane. Enjoy, and I will be back tomorrow. Hopefully.

As I write this, I am in the air, apparently going over some “sky roads” that need serious repair. I have been jostled every which way, and it kinda sucks, since I hate flying so much. Its not the taking off, or the landing that bug me, its actually the fact that I am shoved into a seat, crammed in and there are arm rests on either side of me, but apparently I am not to use either one of them.

My dad used to tell me to imagine that I was just one a bus going down a really bumpy road, and it would help with the anxiety I felt. Well its smells like urine in here, so its either because I am so close to the john, or it’s the old woman to my left. Wait, has she breathed in a while?

I was scanning the lobby of the airport trying to figure out who the other Mac heads were, but everyone was writing something on a Mac laptop, so who knows. Will I be the oldest? Will I fit in? shit, I speak geek with the best of them, so hell yeah I am going to fit in.

This flight sucks for the record. I am perched next to the engine,, literally, I look past the person on my right, and I see engine. Does not provide great acoustics for watching a movie. So I am rocking out to some Peter Westerberg and writing. Seems like a fair trade off.

Ah yeah she is still breathing, just took off her hearing aide…

So getting on, I notice that everyone in the earlier rows looks you over, as if you are a potential risk. I know what they are thinking, I do it to. Who am I going to have to overpower if they try to take the plane. My vote is for gramma as the skymarshal. She is deeeeeeeeeep under cover.

I have always heard or read those “dear penthouse, we were on a returning flight, and she began taking off her blouse” type of things. HOW? I am crammed in the seat, cannot feel my ass, and would have to knock out 4 people if I were to sneeze. How does that work? Is it like the hot pizza girl that always gives sexual favors in exchange for the pizza and tip?

So leaving today was uncomfortable, because the baby munkey was screaming “Daddy! I wanna go with you or you stay here!!!!!” for the final 5 minutes with the family. Apparently he was subdued with a promise of the park as they were leaving, but it made me feel bad for a while. Then the questions started.

Sir, have you been in possession of your luggage for the past 24 hours? Do you have any firearms, explosives, knifes or playdoh on your person? Do you have any fruit in your luggage that might make the cargo hold rally stinky? Are those bugle boy jeans you are wearing? How soon is now?

Its fun going through the second security stop on the way to the gate. I actually had this brilliant idea to check in, make sure the gate was correct, and go catch a smoke before the flight, but after having to take my shoes, belt , hat, turn on the laptop camera ipod and show that the thumdrives were actual drives, I did not want to fight with it again, so I waited.

floating around the blogs

2006-02-17T20:23:00.000-06:00

Latest trend, a word cloud, courtesy of Ali, Leemer, Bon, Debra, Cubby, Annette

I am Jack's guilty conscience

2006-02-14T09:32:00.000-06:00

So while sitting around this weekend, we came up with an idea. I was going to do some google work and see if I could find blogs of people that have gone through training, and see if I could find out what to expect when I arrive in California in a few weeks.

1 general theme keeps coming up. If you work for XXX you don't blog about it. Its frowned upon, in fact you can be eliminated for doing so. So below are the rules of XXX.

The first rule of XXX employment, don't talk about Apple employment
The second rule of XXXX employment, don't talk about Apple employment

So sorry, I will not be able to share too much about my career. See me in person if you wnat to know how its going. From this day forward, it is my day job.

Remember the Alamo, with a T shirt

2006-02-14T08:18:00.000-06:00

So this weekend we went to San Antonio, Texas for a mini vacation. Along for the ride, we had the baby munkey, Mrs. Ninjamunkey and Grandma (insert nickname here, but I am voting for Cocktail). We stayed at the world famous Menger hotel. Built in 1859, it has hosted people from Babe Ruth to that one guy that killed his girlfriend on the 3rd floor back in the 1930's. Oh yeah, and was designated as one of the most haunted places in Texas. Course, how did it get that title? Was there like a haunt off? Was the menger told that if it could not fufill its duties as the most haunted place in Texas, that some other location would step in?

The Menger is actually across the courtyard from the Alamo. It was actually a fun trip, but I have a few complaints.

1) the Riverwalk is waaaay cool. But seriously. Do I need to walk through a Shopping mall to get to every single part of it?

2) Shit stands. You know what they are. Every 10 feet there is a stand to purchase something you never needed, or did not know you needed until you see it. The San Antonio Zoo was guilty of this. There were small boxes around each corner that had ceramic toucans sitting on the alamo. It was gaudy, and therefore they became "Shit Stands"

3) There is no # 3

4) The Alamo. I can't take pictures, but around each corner someone named "Diablo 98" was able to scrawl his name into the wall with a sharpie? Huh? Fishnets? I just wanted pictures of the inside. I was looking for the damn basement, and I could not find it. But I did find 800 clear boxes containing 1 dollar, each labeled "help the Alamo". And really, I may be jaded, but how am I supposed to belive that the piece of wood in the corner was actually from Daniel Boone's house in Kentucky? It was a stick with a homedepot sku on it. Oh and those really cool buildings that used to house the women and children, or were the funeral pyre locations? You can now get a replica bullwhip, coonskin cap, and bowie knife all for the low low price of 100 dollars. Enjoy, but don't take any photos.

5) Old Hotels. Yes they do in fact have charm. Its cool to think your hanging out in a place frequented by presidents, Oscar Wilde, and socialites. But the downside to old hotels? They do not have room adjustable Air Conditioning. Our room, on the 5th floor, averaged 80-85 degrees the whole time, because the hotel had the heat on. We tried to open the windows, but they were those anti-jumper windows, you know they open about 4 inches. Never has a 3 dollar ice cream sandwich tasted so good.

6) In room movies. While sitting in our sauna of a room, we decided to watch a movie. "Its easy, and for one low price watch a movie that is still in theatres" What they don't tell you is that one low price is 10 bucks, and without a Tivo like device, you cannot pause the movie for potty breaks or drink refills. Not nearly as good as being at home. But we did watch Jarhead. The book is better.

We had some fun. We were nagged by Gramma Cocktail a lot, because she did not think we would be walking so much, and would take cabs I guess. The riverwalk would be hard to navigate in a taxi, from what I can tell. Most everything there was closed. Apparently year round fun starts in mid march. Figure that statement out.

radio check...

2006-01-30T05:43:00.000-06:00

So it was pointed out to me this weekend that I have not posted in a while. The main goal was to hold off posting until I could reveal a great bit of news concerning the career. While the news has not turned sour by any means, it is still shelved until I get the official OK. So I wait. And I go to a job that I really don't like at all. And I wait. I check my email at least 15 times a day from work, hoping beyond hope that I will have something there. I check my phone randomly to see if it is turned on, and if I have managed to miss some calls. I move around here at work like I am in a fog. Its not that I dont have things to do, I just don't want to. They want me to go permanant here, and have made a job offer, but it was followed with what can only be called a back handed compliment, and really come to think of it, was not complimentary at all. Imagine spending 12 years of your life doing something, knowing that you are better than 90% of the work force at your job, and being told that you could be replaced with an hourly worker and it would take a few weeks to get them up to speed. So yeah, it was a slap in the face, and so I don't give them an answer about the job. I come in each day, do my work, and get out of here at quickly as possible.

I have taken to being a lot more undiciplined with work than I ever have before. Since I have to be here before dawn, I often go into the server room, turn off the lights and snooze for 30 minutes to an hour. Today, I had to be here 30 minutes earlier than normal, in case any issues come up. Its apparently a Monday morning rule now. Of course I was here at 4:40am, and was the only person around. I also do not have keys to the gates and fences, so I spent the first 25 minutes of my shift listening to the Ipod and sitting in the parking lot of a corner store.

I know there are people out there that are still looking for jobs, and I used to feel guilty for complaining about being one of the highest paid janitor/IT/human relations people around. Now, I just want to leave.

They got me...

2006-01-19T10:25:00.000-06:00

Ok repeatedly tagged this week with this little quiz, so here ya go...and I tag, everyone that reads this and has not already done so....

Four jobs you've had in your life: Computer Tech, Bar/Restaurant manager for Bennigans, Pornographic movie editor (sounds so dirty no matter how I say it), Armed security guard

Four movies you could watch over and over: Clerks, Field of Dreams, Major League, Crossroads (not the Britany Spears version, the Ralph Macchio one)

Four places you've lived: Dallas,Tx. Mesquite, Tx. San Diego, CA. Fort Worth, Tx.

Four TV shows you love to watch: The Shield, Rescue Me, My Name is Earl, Scrubs
Four places you've been on vacation: Vegas, Galveston Bay, and weekend trips that dont really count.
Four websites you visit daily: All of the blogs I visit on blogger,Yirmumah. Fark

Four of your favorite foods: Sandwiches, Lasagna, my wife's homemade cookies, Chipotle burritos

Four places you'd rather be: home, batting cages, shooting range, The container store.

Four albums you can't live without: Rent soundtrack, Singles soundtrack, Jimi Hendrix-Are you experienced, Stevie Ray Vaughn-The sky is crying

Four magazines you read: Rolling Stone, Entertainment Weekly, Real Simple, Cracked

Four cars you've owned: 05' Jeep Grand Cherokee, 01' Chevy Silverado, 97' Oldmobile Acheva, 67' VW Beetle.

Showdown...

2006-01-13T14:19:00.000-06:00

The scene: Shift managers office. The SQL install had gone wacky, not wanting to print.
Cast: Myself, working on the computer. The shift manager, waiting on the machine to be fixed. Lumberjerk, the 25 year old, fat, mechanical engineer, one who is pompus, and rude.

As we move in, we see Ninjamunkey sitting at the computer, digging through .INI files, looking for the printer entries that could be causing the issues. He scrolls down the page, reading and muttering to himself as he does when he is working.

Shift manager: Damn, munkey, did you fix it you computer stud you? *laughing*

Lumberjerk: Ah hell, ninjamunkey probably did not get laid until late in life, mainly because he spent all his time on computers. Ha Ha, Yeah I bet he got a pitty screw from some girl after he fixed her machine.

Ninjamunkey: *removing my sweat jacket to reveal my new Glock brand handguns T-Shirt* Yeah, well except for that whole Marine Corps thing. Chicks totally dig guys that know how to kill.

it's at this point that Lumberjerk turns an even more pasty white and removes himself from the office. Ninjamunkey fixes the SQL issue, prints the page in question, and leaves, leaving the shift manager cackling behind him.

END SCENE....

Things that annoy me...

2006-01-13T09:56:00.000-06:00

I have not done one of these types of rants in a while, but figured, "why not? I'm in a good mood"

--Driving down the highway, I see the big information signs that alert drivers to traffic issues and such. It says something to the effect of "Arson/Burn ban in effect, contact 1-877-****** to report violators" So as I read it, I have to wonder what to do when the burn ban is lifted and arson is spotted? Isn't arson already kinda "banned" with that whole illegal thing???!??--

--My company is notorious for not giving notice about shift changes. For example, they might tell me at 4 on a Friday that I need to be here at 6 am on saturday.--

--I hate it when people read over my shoulder. Yes, my writing captures the attention of its reader, but dammit wait for it to be published! I have people that would walk up behind me and read over my shoulder while waiting for the printer to run off thier stuff. I finally moved the table out, and put my back against the wall. Ha Ha that will show them!--

--You people that feel the need to forward me every "Goverment warning" email about cell phone listings, email listings, spam, virus alerts, scams involving food stamps. Stop it! I get time to check the internet and email about 5 times a day, and I dont want your silly crap clogging my inbox--

--Loud cell talkers! You right there, in the red shirt, talking to who I am going to assume is your wife about something the dog ate and has not passed yet. I don't give a shit (pun intended)go away from my area, and talk on your phone with its annoying ringer that sounds like a duck stuck in a printer. Go away!--

--You job recruiters that call me, and tell about these wonderful jobs that I am perfect for, and then you send my resume, and then never call again, well aren't you a bunch of bitches!!!--

--my moms, who after I got in one little fight, got scared as hell, and said I was moving in with my auntie and uncle in Bel Aire--

Damn you Apple!!!

2006-01-10T13:57:00.000-06:00

Ok I am an Applephile. I love those damn machines. I work with PCs all day, and go home to a HP running Windows XP. If I want to unwind, or upload music to my (Apple)Ipod, I move over to my Ibook. It's white, 14.1 inch viewable goodness of OS X. If I had to choose one machine to work on for the rest of my life, it would be pez, cherry flavored pez...sorry I forgot what I was talking about. If I had a choice in this digital revolution, I would own an Apple mobile phone (are ya listening Jobs?), My Ipod would crank out the latest edition of the greatest hits from Boston, the band not the town, and I would arrange all of my music in Itunes on a Mac. My email would be written in Mac Mail, not Exchange. Microsoft would not be a name that belonged on my resume But games are not that available for Mac, and my unwind includes blowing shit up, and shooting bad guys.

Today Apple unveiled the MacBook Pro and I wet myself a little. Its sleek, fast, and powered by an Intel chip. I did not have the initial "Gag me, Intel is the devil" reaction that most Applephiles might have had. I had a "Damn, I need 3 grand for a laptop" reaction.

I guess the point of this post in the beginning was to touch on the hatred for all things windows based I am supposed to have. Every Machead in the place is standing on their ears, waiting...Instead its a call to arms for everyone that loves me. Buy me a Macbook. Donate all that you can, your money will go to good use. I promise.

Random

2006-01-05T09:14:00.000-06:00

So as I sit here this morning, I realized that I have not done a random blog in a while. A Scattershooting if you will. And I will.

-I am writing as part of a new project over at The baseball blog There are a lot of talented writers and baseball fans writing stuff over there, and then there is me. You should check it out.

-I have been getting a lot of steady traffic lately, visitors and such. If this is the first time you are reading my Blog, I am so sorry. If you are a repeat visitor, I am so sorry.

-The new year comes in with a bang, and hopefully it will mean a better job for the ninjamunkey, since the current location is not so hot. To give you an idea, there is the joke that my nickname is Cinderella, since I have to sweep and mop quite a bit around here. Seriously. I could not make that up. Imagine if I had less IT experience. I might have to run a vacuum.

-went and saw King Kong this past weekend. Honestly, while it had a monkey in it, I was not that impressed. Sure it had great effects, and *spoiler* the death of Kong made me sad, I thought there was waaay too much "creative" cinematography. I don't need an extended scene of Kong and Naomi Watts looking at a sun set. Majestic, yes, creating a longer movie, why bother? Although, knowing that Ms. Watts had to act against a green screen for the majority of her scenes, I was mega impressed with her performance. Jack Black was almost disappointing, since I expected him to run into Kyle Gass and break into a Tenacious D song at any moment. Adrian Brody. BOOORING. Deadpan actor, odd looking, and hard to take seriously as a love interest for anyone other than a cartoon character. 12 out of 54 stars.

-Watched the 40 year old virgin this past week on DVD. I laughed so hard, I think I was tired when it was over. Excellent movie, in the brain dead, I dont want to think type of way.

that is all I have for now, and again, I'm sorry. have a day!

Ring Ring...

2006-01-03T11:56:00.000-06:00

11:00pm
Getting a little tipsy, I send a text message to several in my contact list, just the typical "Happy New Year, wish you were here"

11:45
I get a response back from my sister, stating "Happy New Year, want a picture?"
I reply with "Absolutely" shocked that she responded

I promptly get photos from her back, all in a somewhat flirty nature, but maybe she thought they were cute.

12:15
The Ninjamunkies pose for a photo, and send it back to her

5:27am
I get a message from her saying "I hope you are as happy as I am"

5:30am
I get another message saying "who is this?"

5:30AM

my phone rings, and I stumble to the dresser to get it. It's New Years Day, and we had been in bed about 2 hours. Several hours of whiskey and coke, and greasy pizza, I don't want to be awake this early.

Me: "Hello?"
Phone: "hey Who's this?"
Me: "Nathan". It's at this point that I look at the display and see that its my sister, whom I have not spoken to in well over a year, since she went off the deep end with drugs and parties.
Her:"Nathan....Nathan....Nathan who?"
Me:(slightly annoyed that she is truly this dumb)"your brother"
Her: "how did you get this number?"
Now this is where my years of avoiding questions has paid off. See I could have said that my mom gave me the new number she got secretly from a friend of Sis'. But instead I avoid...
Me:"You were text messaging me last night, duh!"
Her: "Oh I thought you were my friend Scott. I'm sorry I woke you up."
Me:"Hey no problem, just call me this afternoon so we can catch up"

Now that was a few days ago, and I have not heard from here since. She probably is going to rush off and change her cell number. The original reason she gave for severing ties was her counselor told her it was best, in order to get off drugs.

I am not going to claim here that I despise her, because she is not doing anything I have not already done. More than likely. Yeah, I always partied like it was 1999. It took a lot of soul searching and recognizing how unhappy I was with my life before I kicked the recreational drug use. Once I did, I did not look back.

So I hope she is ok. I hope she is doing well, and is not headed towards a cliff with the rest of the lemmings she is running around with. I hope she is smart enough to verify what she is taking in some way, or not take it. I hope she is careful. I hope she is not being an ignorant slut.

But I have my doubts.

Leftovers...

2005-12-27T08:28:00.000-06:00

Ah yes, the Holidays. That time of year that people you really dont talk to the rest of the year arrive at your house, you spend a lot of money on gifts that wind up either getting regifted to their pool boy, or better yet, go back to the store for something they really wanted in the first place. Ho Ho Ho.

Well, we are past them folks. Now comes New Years. Its not really a holiday. It's more of an excuse for adults that are mature and grown up to take one night of the year and drink like they are 19, sneaking liquor from under the sink. Of course that usually leads to puking on the boxwoods around 3am, but sometimes that is ok. It reminds us why we don't drink like that the rest of the year. Much

I actually have the week between Christmas and New Years off from work. Granted, being a contractor, I don't get paid for this time off, but its a chance to recharge. TO get things done around the house. So what am I doing with my first day? Blogging. Heee.

Actually I came here to relay a funny.

We are a cluttered household. Man, we have stuff stacked, and need to go through, but just have not had time. I have a pile of crap on my desk for the past few months, I don't know what is there, but I am sure I need it. It does not help that I am the world's worst packrat. So I started looking at our front room, where the bookshelves are. I guess you could refer to it as the library, but that sounds so snotty. As I am looking to see if I can part with any paperback, and make a little room, I find 7 books with titles like "How to Declutter..."

Ah I know how to declutter!!!!Eleven!!!11

Stop buying the damn books!

Anyway, I am going to go through this laundry basket of crap and see why I have saved it for 6 months. Wish me luck.

And Happy Holidays, really, even if you take that sweater back I bought you, and trade it in for a Xbox game, its the thought that counts.

All these things that I have done...

2005-12-22T10:27:00.000-06:00

Just a quick catch up of sorts, and hopefully I can get more details over the next week, as i am going to be off work after Christmas until after New Years. Until then I have...

drank way too much whiskey

had steaks at 2 high end restaurants, the first I told you about, the second, I would not really suggest. It was a bit too pretentious for my tastes.

Worked a lot, but been reassigned, so my job revolves around cleaning, stacking and otherwise letting my IT skills go to waste for the most part.

Been to a party in a phonebooth, but it was one hell of a party.

figured out that sometimes, there are people that bend the rules just like I do, only this time it worked to my benefit.

planned a big christmas feast, cancelled a christmas feast, planned a christmas feast.

Began getting things in order for a "festivus" party on new years eve, complete with a patio heater for us smokers.

drank more whiskey

learned that I will actually eat lobster and shrimp, if prepared correctly.

wondered if I should do another whiskey run.

Hopefully I can detail more as time goes on, but for now, here it is.

Food Orgasm

2005-12-17T08:20:00.000-06:00

Last night, Mrs. Ninjamunkey and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. We had reservations for The Fort Worth Chop House. Its a higher end steak house in Downtown Fortworth. I had been looking forward to it most of the week, a time to celebrate, to be a couple, to have a date. The day was shaping up good. I found this right after getting to work. Sweet huh?

I ordered 2 dozen roses, and had them sent to her office. I don't think she had any idea, so that was cool. I went to the store and pick up a bottle of champagne to celebrate with after dinner. I rushed home, after having to stay late for a little meeting with my boss. I showered, and got dressed up. At 5:38pm I get a text message:
STUCK AT WORK, GET DIRECTIONS BE READY

Ok so a little damper, but not a big deal. I called the restaurant and pushed the reservation back from 7 to 7:45. at 6:30 she was finally on her way. She got here, changed clothes, and we left.

Its been over an year since i have navigated downtown, but I think I did a great job of guiding us around traffic, and we made it to the restaurant around 8:05. They took us right to our table, and the festivities began.

Understand I was a fat kid. Not only was I fat, I was poor. So going somewhere that the average tab is over 100 bucks for 2 people, and having what can only be described as a fantastic steak, well I was in fat kid heaven. The food, AMAZING. The prices, steep. The crown and cokes? 8 bucks. But they were closer to doubles, maybe even triples. We had 3 each.

We consumed a little of everything last night, not finishing one single dish. It was like a sample here, and a sample there. I ate shrimp scampi for the first time in my life, and loved it. (I hate seafood, or so I was lead to believe) I ate lobster tail that was amazing. It melted in my mouth. Oh my god, my fat boy heart was exploding.

But like all things, you grow up. I knew I could not hold that amount of food, and stopped, and then they brought dessert. A bread pudding with fresh berries. A flourless godiva chocolate cake. Dear god!

All in all, it was an amazing time, and I had someone wonderful to share it with. Probably the finest meal I have ever had, and the greatest date of my life.

Thank you Ali, for 5 wonderful years.

As an aside, I had been planning a entry for yesterday, detailing things that have gone on in the past five years, and how much she meant to me, and what life was like now, and then she posted hers. I did not want to appear to be stealing thunder, so I did not post it. But I will summarize, 5 years=me being the luckiest guy on the face of the earth.

The Santa Incident-Innocence lost

2005-12-15T07:05:00.000-06:00

So yesterday, Ali posted about never being told the Santa myth. I feel bad, because I think every child should at least attempt to believe in Santa. There is a whole sense of wonder, and joy, and the belief of magic. That a fat man flies reindeer across the night, climbing down chimneys and delivering toys to all good boys and girls. Sure, as an adult I thought about Santa knowing when I was sleeping, when I was awake, and my goodness meter, and really, its kinda creepy, but hey its still cool. It is Tradition.

Someone posted a comment on how she was lucky she never found out her parents were lying to her like they did.

I kinda snapped. A bit. (ok it was like 5:40 in the morning, and I am not the greatest morning person) Lying? Seriously? I had parents that lied to me. But I did not hold it againts them for the Santa thing. I believe the sense of wonder that comes from believing in something made up, the attempt to hold something traditional year after year, and well, lets be honest, parents need an edge trying to get thier kids to behave.

Think about it. In elementary school, did a kid come back from Christmas break, and announce that he got nothing, because he was bad? Never. Sure some kids went without, and I remember a 3rd grader that got a carton of smokes, but that is another family all together. No one was ever held out on, and blamed Santa for it.

I am not a christmas person. Its very hard for me to get fired up about it year after year, especially when Walmart starts announcing how many days until christmas in July. Christmas has become a reason to sell more merchandise in the stores, and buy crappy things for relatives that you dont see the rest of the year. But I still get a bit of a shiver down my spine with NORAD tracks santa, and the news teams do announcements about where he is on Christmas Eve. I never wanted to go anywhere on Christmas eve, because, what if Santa missed my house cause I was not there? I used to scan the night skys as we drove from my grandmothers house, looking for that red light scooting across the sky.

My parents were sometimes too honest with me. Once, after practicing all day with a neighbor on my electric guitar, I learned Van Halens "you really got me" opening riffs. I was maybe 12. I ran home and plugged in and called mom and dad into the living room to show off what I had learned. After playing it through, my dad looks at me, and says "that's it?" I did not touch a guitar again for 12 years.

So parents, if you tell kids there is a Santa, your not a horrible person. Your keeping a little bit of hope alive in a otherwise drab world. I plan on fully playing the santa thing with the baby munkey. Let him have fun knowing the truth and playing along, just like I did, its a right of passage.

catching up...

2005-12-07T08:38:00.000-06:00

So I have had many moments over the last few days to write about, but trying to find time to post them has not been easy. I was out sick yesterday, but it was not a rest day for me.

I will start at the beginning...

First, my darling 2 year old baby munkey was sitting in his seat in the car this weekend as a large Hummer drove past. His pointed observation? "Hey look, its a school bus!" Ah, youth.

Sunday, we decided to impose a family day. We went to Dallas to the Dallas World Aquarium to see the sites. I must say, at 16 bucks a person, it was a little dissappointing. The manatees were hanging in thier tank, and actually looked dead. The penguins were bored, and the fish displays were only so-so. Even the big draw for me, the monkeys, were tired, having apparently had a rough Saturday night. The best part was a tunnel walk through where the sharks swam over your head. Quite cool, and baby munkey was quite impressed that something could swim over my head, being the giant that I am not.

Yesterday, Tuesday, I called in sick to work. I assume that the weather going from 89 degrees on Saturday to 30 today had something to do with it. I did have to make a journey to Garland, to retreive our former dog. Apparently the person that we found him a home with decided he was too much trouble and dumped him out. When called on it, he actually said he was too busy for him. So I traveled to Garland, and payed the fees and got him out of the pound, and I think last night we found him a wonderful home.

Today, the weather man is calling for snow and ice. In Texas they might as well say armageddon, because people prepare for it. They make runs on the grocery store, and no one wants to go to work. Right now its probably upper 20's with a light mist. If we get actual precipitation, its going to be a messy drive home. But see, I understand how to drive in it, the key is going slow. Everyone else thinks that if you hurry, you can get home before it gets worse. I dont have to worry about the ice, I have to worry about the idiots on the ice. "Disney presents: Idiots on Ice"

that is all I have for now, doing to work of 2 people is tough enough, but when you are run down and sick, its hell.

Have fun, stay young!

Great Snack!

2005-11-30T12:56:00.000-06:00

Since it has really been a while since I have posted anything of merit, wait, I have never posted anything of merit, but that is beside the point, I thought I would sit down and type out some of the things that I have been trying to remember to share to the rest of my blog readers. (official record for the longest run on pointless waste of time sentence) These are in no particular order, but just randomness that has come and gone in the past few…

I hate it when someone emails me something work related, and CC’s my boss, or his boss. I guess they really believe that if all those names are on there, I will move faster. What they don’t realize is that when I get those emails, I tend to move them to a folder titled “junk mail” and then mark them as unread. That way when the boss or his boss comes to find out why I have not handled the email actions required, I make sure they see me find the email in the junk folder, and say “golly, we really need someone around here that can work on exchange and filtering correctly”. That seems to get their mind off the need to install that printer, especially if they run to their own desks to look for junk mail that might have been valid. With that, I usually buy myself another few hours before the printer gets installed, on my schedule. A little IT trick for you out there.

Why do people pray to Jesus about everything? I mean, we have a guy here, who is probably about 35-40, and is very devout. He likes to have prayer before everything he does. “Dear lord, let me get this fork lift in gear and move those cartons without getting injured”: “Dear lord, Please let the coke machine have more mountain dew, and please let me have correct change” I don’t get it. I thought he was joking at first, and chuckled, and he was offended. That is when I do the patented Ninjamunkey blank look at the ceiling. Ask Mrs. Ninjamunkey, she has seen it once or twice.

This happened to a coworker this morning. Time due in, 6:00am. At 7:55am, my boss calls his cell phone. “Hey man, just wondering where you are” His answer? “Oh I am out on the shop floor at (building location)” Boss: “Huh that’s funny, I have been here since 6 waiting on you, and have yet to see you, get here, now!” See folks, he could have told the truth, that his cat ate his carkeys, or that his tires all went flat at the same time, or in cases where I have gotten that call answered it like this “ Hey boss! Where are you?” Always answer a question like that with a question like that. Got it? Good.

Bumperstickers viewed on the highway of life this week:
“Marriage is the #1 cause of Divorce”- I’d be willing to wager this sticker is #2
“Don’t laugh it’s paid for”-I can also wager you had to finance this sticker too, huh?
“In case of rapture, this car will be empty”-That bad Blondie song? I would leave the car too.
“I love my labradoodle”-thank god someone does, those things are more hideous than the 3 assed monkey!

And again witnessed one of my favorite unintentional jokes. A car marked with shoe polish, FOR SALE-RUNS GOOD broken down on the side of the highway.

That is all for now, gotta get back in there and bounce some emails around. Have fun, stay young, and stop itching it unless you want it to spread.

Schmolodays...

2005-11-28T09:41:00.000-06:00

So trying to catch up for my extended absense from the blog is going to be tough. I have done so much, yet have so little to report. I will attempt to catch up soon with everything, but in quick hit style to be revisited soon...

1) My wife's family seems to have dual opinions of me. I am great, wonderful and super, but some feel that I don't have enough of a future, and will not be able to provide for my family. It is quite hard to resist saying, "unlike so many of you, if I had to start over, I am smart enough to figure it out" Its not like the IT industry is going the way of Betamax. Geez...

2) Alcohol makes every holiday gathering so much easier to tolorate. Just ask me, and that big bottle of Crown I put a major dent into.

3) Work is work, but the future employment options of Mr. Ninjamunkie are looking so much better. Just need to stay focused on the task at hand, and know that somewhere over the rainbow, things are brighter. Hopefully.

4) Never eat chinese food that is described as "strips of beef, deep fried, and covered in a spicy sauce" In fact, ignore anything that is deep fried beef. "you know my T-Bone is good, but if I deep fried it in batter...mmmm boy"

That is about all I have time for now, but I promise to come back as soon as possible.

Scattershooting...

2005-11-16T06:28:00.000-06:00

As I attempt to wake up on a chilly Wednesday....

First of all, is anyone else frightened by the fact that I am trying to wake up, only to already be at work, about 35 miles from home? This scares me daily. Not that I think I cannot drive half asleep, as I have most of my working life, but because I see things on the return trip home that I did not notice on the way out that morning. For instance, last night, I noticed a set of buildings that seemingly had been tossed up over night. I know construction is fast, but not that fast. So I probably drove past them in the dark yesterday morning, but was too groggy to notice them. Frightening.

The groggyness is not that hard to understand really, I worked 16 hours on monday, and was back a few hours later for another 12 hour shift. My company is really worried about having to pay for over time, so they keep coming up and asking how many hours I have. Hey dumbasses, you made me work 28 hours in 2 days, so you do the math, I doubt i will work that schedule posted of 12 hours for the next 5 days, but who knows, time may stop

I have yet another job interview this morning, around 11. So if anyone is reading this that I work with, yes, I really have a doctors appointment, and I dress up for him as much as possible...makes the diagnosis a little easier to take. Not that I think anyone I work with is reading this, mainly because I don't talk to anyone I work with. Sure I answer tech questions, and there have been those awkward moments at the coffee maker on Monday where someone one will make a passing "good weekend?" but really, I don't have a social life at work. It's really not my choosing. They tend to gather and go to lunch together (the rest of the techs) and I usually get elected to hold down the fort. Does it bother me? Well, I dunno, you hiring?

We have assistance from home office in this week, and home office is in Flint, Michigan. I love hearing them laugh at the people who are coming in saying, "wow its really chilly out there" and the response from the "Michiginians" is always "Ha, this is nothing" Hey folks, a moment? Its 35 degrees. I dont care where you are, that is considered chilly. If you want to scoff at our weather and make fun of us for wearing long sleeves and light jackets, GO HOME. I dont need your crap. Also, I am not impressed with you wearing short sleeves. That does not shock me, what does shock me is that you can get out of bed each morning, and still make it to work, because I figure your brains turn off each night, considering the vast amount of computer skills you seem to loose each day. Have a glass of STFU on me.

Whew, glad that is out of my system. That could have been dangerous, yelling at some director later in the day.

I know I have said I did not want to post work centric posts here, just because there are only so many ways of saying "work sucks" and still be original. Plus, I hate whining and moaning about things I have when there are people still looking for jobs. So This is out of my system now, and I can go on observing life, and coming back here to poke fun at it.

Chicken Ess...

2005-11-10T07:35:00.000-06:00

Two posts, no waiting....

I wanted to touch on something i witnessed first hand yesterday that really took me for a loop.

The company I work for is not bad. They like to pay well, thier full time people from other locations seem to be happy. Locally, its like watching a car wreck in slow motion, only to realize you are watching from outside your own body. I have a manager that lacks tact, management skills, and is usually pretty clueless. I am my normal sarcastic self to him, and he has no clue. He will call me and say things like "Hey, where are you?" only to have me reply with "well hey, where are you?" I answer his questions with questions a lot, and truthfully, it would look horrible on any employee evaluation. I probably shouldn't, but when you put up with crap, and attempts to piss you off, well, you push back.

Yesterday during a staff meeting of the IT brain trust, we were going over a list of projects for the next week. Apparently we have a lot to do, and not a lot of time to do it, so we can expect to work a lot of OT. (does that sound like the theme to Smokey and the Bandit to anyone else, or just me?) He looks at my evening counterpart, and says "Bill*, your name is not on the project plan, because we are going to dedicate your evening shifts to cleaning up, and catching the overflow work from the projects". To me, being left off a project plan is a good way to be left off the payroll, but we carried on. Bill* made suggestions for training classes coming up, and was involved with the meeting.

Shortly after the meeting broke up, I went outside to get a tool from my truck, and as I walked out, Bill* was called back into the building by my boss. They went into HR and closed the door.

30 minutes later I got a call from my boss telling me that he had fired Bill* and wanted to tell me before the rumors got around. 40 minutes after telling him that he was going to be working overflow.

To me, the best way to have handled that situation is for him to release Bill* prior to the staff meeting, and then tell the remainder of the staff at the meeting, not paint a silly picture of work to be done. Another thing would to have done the firing prior to the meeting, and then telling us about how hard we are going to have to work, instead of making us think that now, the work will be that much harder because we are short another associate. I guess what I am trying to say, I would have done it differently, and I can almost be sure that 85% of the managers that read this entry, both of you, would have done the same thing.

Man, I need to go mail off some more resumes.

(*notes that Bill is not his real name, in fact it is not even close. It might be considered a psued...psuedo....fake)

The Coolest Kid on the block...

2005-11-10T07:33:00.000-06:00

The baby munkey is amazing. He has an intelligence about him that frightens me. He is kinda like Stewie from The Family Guy, without the lasers and Benny Hill references. I have thought this for some time, but yesterday just cemented it for me.

Flu season is coming up, so Mrs. Ninjamunkey set up to have the baby munkey innoculated yesterday. I picked him up from the sitter, and we drove to the doctor's office. He sat in my lap as we waited, pointing out the various characters on posters in the waiting area. We got a lot of "how adorable!" statements from PA's and nurses on staff. Then a young nurse came to get us.

We went back into the treatment area, and the nurse informed me that I would need to hold his hands, as youngsters tend to grab at the needle. I thought it was a bit much, but held on anyway. I whispered to him that it would be over soon, and that he was indeed a big boy. She wiped the area with a alcohol prep wipe, and asked him if he saw the "birdie" on the wall paper. His reply?

"yes, and a Zebra, a tiger, and a elephant, and a monkey, and another bird" Pretty impressive for a 2 year old. She looked a little stunned, and then stuck him with the syringe. His reply to that?

"Ow, Stop it...can I have some candy now?"

No crying, no screaming, nothing like that. It was almost as if he were pinched. There were children leaving the office as we waited that acted as if thier little feet had been crushed by that crazy lady in Misery. Not my boy. He just wanted a sucker.

This kid has recently had a black eye, from running into a table at full speed. He shrugged it off like a prizefighter. I have seen him jump from the couch, do a cannonball into the carpet, and laugh. Then repeat it.

Obviously he has a high tolerance for pain. I think we are raising a 80 year old man that was not reincarnated correctly the first time. Especially when he asks for coffee and a bagel.

Like a pine forest...

2005-11-08T07:23:00.000-06:00

“So why haven’t you written more lately?”
That seems to be the question I get, at least have gotten once or twice. It’s not that I don’t want to write, it is more of time restraints, frustration (which actually might be helped by writing) or just a lack of things to write about. I don’t want to be one of those people that blog about nothing. I am not Seinfield, and don’t want to force the funny. I also don’t want to get into the rut I have in the past, with the “man my job sucks, my boss is an idiot, I am getting shafted…”
So my solution? Write about why I have not written in a while. It reminds me of a paper I turned in for 10th grade composition class. I was supposed to write a paper on creative processes. I wrote about the creative process of coming up with a paper on creative processes. I am pretty sure I got a C on that paper.

New music fun games to play when you are bored at work, or in the car stuck in traffic. Everyone one should do this task, and report back.

1) What is your theme song? Is there one song in your playlist, or CD collection, that defines you? That one song that, when it comes on, you can imagine a movie’s opening credits, and this song is playing?

2) If you had to describe your life, or your lack thereof, could you do it with one mix tape? Pick between 5-10 songs, and imagine putting them on a black tape. You would give this tape to someone, and they would immediately know it was “your” tape.

Well that is all I have today. I was going to write about how hard it is to come up with a catchphrase. How your email sig file might have a catch phrase, but its usually stolen from someone else. My favorite? I Got a Rock.

So in closing….I Got a Rock.

conflict...

2005-10-24T12:20:00.000-05:00

Today, I find myself conflicted. Not about the price of gas, or where to work, or anything like that. I am conflicted about baseball.

You see, I watched game 2 of the World Series last night. The Astros had one of the bigger Series meltdowns I have seen in a while. I felt shocked, and hurt, and a little cheated. But it was only game 2, and other teams have come back from a 0-2 deficit to win it all. Mrs. Ninjamunkey is a Chicago native, and is rooting for the Sox. She had much rather root for the Cubs, but well, that is not going to happen any time soon.

I have been rooting for the Astros. They have such a horrible history, its hard not to. They have guys that have been around since the days of my youth, and it would be cool to see those guys win. And then it hit me.

Houston sucks. They like to think they are better and more affluent than Dallas/Fort Worth. They have the Rockets, who have won that wierd basketball thing. They have Nolan Ryan, and his beef. During the "silver boot" series between the Rangers and Astros, its cut throat. All the Ranger fan needs is Houston coming here next year during interleague play and shoving that damn Championship trophy in our faces. They would so totally make it a "We put Texas on the map for baseball, you guys suck"

So I am going to flipflop my alliance. I think I am going to root, root, root for the Sox. If they dont win its a shame. Its american league, versus national league. Its baseball at its finest, with bunts, and steals and strike outs, and its the Astros.

Damn...

2005-10-21T06:49:00.000-05:00

I am tired today. You see, I am tired partly because I have not been sleeping well, more on that in a minute. the other reason I am tired? I stayed out too late.

Needing to be at work every morning at 5:30 is really tough on your social calandar. Typically I get home around 4 in the afternoon. After sending out resumes to various job boards, I get some cleaning or household project done. By 8, I am ready for bed. I try to turn in around 9, sometimes 10.

Last night, the baby munkey was with the parents for the weekend. Mrs. Ninjamunkey and I were faced with a weekend of child free time. What did we do the first night? well, first, we went to dinner. A local place called Windy City Grill, where they specialize in Chicago style food. It lets Mrs. Ninjamunkey get a taste of home, and I get that as well, though it is not home to me, just the best damn hotdogs in the US.

We left the restaurant and headed over the the local tattoo parlor. We have both been toying with the idea of new ink for a while. I have a 8 inch lizard (seedy) on my arm, and she has Calvin and Hobbs dancing on her hip. I have been wanting something to mark my 30th year, and my overall change in life. She too, wanted something to mark the difference in her life.

After talking to the artist for a little while, it was realized that first, they closed at 10. My kind of place. "We are going to be wild and crazy, but only until a decent hour, then we need to go to bed". Secondly, they did not have enough time to draw both design ideas I had brought for us, and ink them as well. So we were going to have the Mrs' tat done first.

While we had about 45 minutes to kill waiting for the artist to finish up with his previous client (again rather seedy) we went across the street to a small mexican restaurant and sat at the bar for a drink. (perhaps the best Crown and coke I have had in a bar, as they were quite generous and poured a double for 4.50) After a nice buzz we returned the the tat store, and they started her ink.

He was done in about 35 minutes, and I must say, it looks awesome. If I get her permission, I will post photos of his work later, and hopefully tomorrow evening, I can get my work done as well.

So I am tired.

Just a quick note...

2005-10-20T12:42:00.000-05:00

So today I had lunch with a technical recruiter. She found my resume online and wanted to talk to me about positions with their company. Side note, these companies need to figure out that I am not loyal to a brand, only that I do something I like, somewhere tolerable, and for the money I want. So we go to Bennigans for lunch and sit down. I look across from us, and there sitting enjoying his salad, is my boss. Not my immediate boss, but his boss. Nice. So I make the eye contact thing, and discreetly whisper to the recruiter that my boss is across from us, and she says :"no problem, so hows your week going? Its been so long since I have seen you!" We casually talk about what kind of work I want to do, without using specifics, and 20 minutes into the food, my boss leaves. We then started talking about jobs with specifics and no codes involved. High tension at the Bennigans today my friends.

Pre-Halloween Horror

2005-10-18T09:25:00.000-05:00

So I had known Danny since the 3rd grade. He was one of 4 (four!!!) DannyÂs in my class, and was designated as such with his last initial to differentiate between the 4. After high school, and a falling out with my parents, we decided to be roommates. The only problem was, we had about 200 bucks, 2 sofas, and a carton of Camel Wide cigarettes between us. We really had no idea what we could find for 200 bucks, but we found an ad in an East Texas newspaper for a trailer. 200 bucks a month, utilities paid, no deposit. We moved in at once.
The first of many signs of things to be, this trailer did not have usable bedrooms. The bedrooms were located at each end of the thing, but there were holes in the floors of one, and the other was missing a window, or three. It was really not a problem though, since we did not really have bedroom furniture. We moved in rather quickly, since it did not take long to load the sofas, smokes, or paper plates.
He was working at a company making large signs, and would often point out a restaurant sign he had helped make. I was working at a car dealership washing cars and putting those little stickers on the back to say where the car was purchased. At night, we would try to figure out how to patch holes, or fix plumbing, or other things that domesticates were supposed to do.
I left the dealership after a few months, and went to work at Rubbermaid as the guy on the night shift that pulled the hot tote lids from the machine, and trimmed the excess plastic from them. It was glamorous, exciting, and quite possibly the worst job I had ever had, but it paid an extra buck or so an hour to work 3rd shift, and I had all day to work on the trailer.
One morning I got home and found that Danny had pushed the sofaÂs together in the middle of the living room. He had a broom, and taped to the end of the broom was a butcher knife. It was as if some sort of lord of the flies was playing fort in my living room. He woke with a start, and started telling me a tale that was too incredible to believe. It seems he was sitting in the living room, oh hell it was a crappy trailer, so to make it more attractive, I will call it the parlor. So he was sitting in the parlor watching TV, and a small furry creature came from another room and was growling and snarling at him. He tried to shoo it away, but it seemed to get larger, and was hissing. It was then that he made his makeshift spear, and was going to go after it. I started sniffing the ashtray, making sure that there was nothing ÂfunnyÂ in there. I walked the length of the trailer, and did not find any sign of an animal, much less a beast from hell with walking fury.
That night, as I was trying to sleep before going to work, I was awaked by a sound that can only be described as a howler monkey caught in the jaws of a wildebeest. I cautiously crept into the hallway, and there looking me in the eyes was the largest possum I had ever seen. He was 3 feet tall, had red eyes, teeth 15 inches long, and mean streak a mile wide. Since I did not have the spear with me, I made the only other rational decision, and threw something at it. He ducked, and vanished down the hole in the floor. A green glow was coming up from that hole, telling me that there was an industrial accident, and this creature was feasting on nuclear waste.
I went to my bag, and grabbed the 45. I unloaded not one, not two, but 3 clips into the floor. I then started packing up the sofas, the rest of the smokes, and decided we were moving.

Now some of this tale is sprinkled with hyperbole, and some of the descriptions are factual. The living room was not a parlor, we did not live the happy life of two bachelors building our own pad in the skanky trailerpark that time forget, but that damn possum was huge!

In my next 30 years...

2005-10-11T07:25:00.000-05:00

So last night Mrs. Ninjamunkey and I were talking about all things work related as we traveled to one of the worst dining experiences in recent memory. More on the dinner some other time. Just remind me. No really, get a sticky note, I'll wait.

Ok, got it? Now write down, bad dinner, and leave it where I can see it.

So anyway, we were talking about work, and how things have been shaping up in her career, and how mine is going stale. You see, I applied for a job the other day, and after 2 really promising phone interviews, I got the following call from the recruiter.

R:"Hey dude, (yes he is a surfer type, working in IT recruiting), I think they are really interested in you. They have not talked terms, but they have said they like what they see on your resume. But they wanted to ask if you had a bachelors degree"

Now while I was quite skilled at being a bachelor, eating ramen noodles for every meal, and making sure my paycheck lasted exactly until 2 days before payday, I never got a degree. Actually I was a college dropout after 2 semesters or so, damn internet chat rooms. You see, instead of going to class, I would just sit in the computer lab and chat in various chat rooms, since it was such new technology at the time. I would arrive an hour before my first class, and then look up and it was already 2 hours after my last class. Addiction, ain't it a bitch.

Since telling the surfer dude recruiter that I did not in fact have a degree, I have not heard from him since. I was not really that shocked.

You see, the IT field is interesting to say the least. There are kids coming out of highschool that can reprogram their X-Box to be a porn host, and rewire vibrators into VCRs. I have to struggle to stay current, when most MCSE programs are 2 box tops from Booberry and a baby tooth.

So I am thinking of going back to school. I will keep working in IT, just to fund my schooling to do what I have always wanted to do, and that is teach. I want to be an educator. I want to make a difference, oh yeah and I want to coach baseball.

So this morning I am requesting my transcript from Eastfield College. I assume that at this point, they will probably just die laughing when they see it, but hey, it might help me not have to take another English 101 class.

test

2005-10-10T09:09:00.000-05:00

And so it begins, the posting of the photos in the blog to give more "texture" to my stories

What's the Story Morning Glory?

2005-10-08T09:30:00.000-05:00

So today I wanted to touch on a feeling that I get quite often. I wanted to get it out there in hopes of getting someone to comment with “yeah, I do that too!” or “no, you’re a freak!”

Every morning I have the same routine. I wake up at 4:30am, get dressed, grab a soda or some coffee, and head to the office. I arrive around 5:30, check out my servers, and then fire up my laptop. I first check company email, to make sure nothing blew up over night that I need to take care of. I then start with blogs. I have a list of about 10 that I read on a daily basis, but when I blog surf, I add more. I click the link, and then start reading.

One of the biggest disappointed feelings I get is when I get to a blog that has not been updated. Its kind of a “aww, no new update. Dang” I am disappointed that I can not read about other people’s lives to make mine more interesting. I feel a twinge of joy when someone has been going nuts, updating with quizzes, stories, and other things. Am I the only one out here that feels that let down when nothing new has been updated? Like there the world is spinning and you don’t know anything about it?

Perhaps I should seek blog therapy

Freebird

2005-10-04T08:20:00.000-05:00

---Despite the title of this entry, there were actually no references to Lynyrd Skynyrd. Shocking.---

So this weekend, we set out on a trip to visit relatives gathered to say goodbye to 2 of my cousins that were killed in a house fire. Knowing the family the way I do, I should have brought paper to write all of the things down for one heck of a blog. So now I am attempting to do this from memory. Hopefully it will paint a picture for you.

Started out, we drove through the country side to a small east Texas town. The town was one in which it sprung up out of empty fields and winding back country roads. We knew the name of the funeral home, and were not disappointed, as it was the only one in town. Google maps might as well have said “go over yonder, cross from the Fire Department, around the corner from the gas station/movie store/hardware store. Yes, all three stores were combined into the one Fina station. Superfina mart, if you will. Mrs. Ninjamunkey pointed out as we drove up “oh look they are having a fish fry at the cemetery this afternoon.”

We circled the town a few times, since I did not see anyone I recognized standing in front of the funeral home, and then placed a call to my folks, who were on the way. They soon arrived as we were gathering the baby munkey from the car and walking to the front porch. My mother quickly told us we should have been inside already, as we were family, but to be honest, I had not seen either of the 2 boys in nearly 15 years, so we were family twice removed.

We walked past the mob, and they were staring intently. I figured out what it was. We were dress nice. Shirt, slacks and a tie for me, and Mrs. Ninjamunkey was wearing a very nice black dress. Everyone there looked as if they were coming in off the lake after fishing all day, or was getting ready to go watch some stock car races, and stopped at the service on the way. No, really. I saw 3 T shirts advertising beer, 2 cartoon character shirts, and probably 20 rock band shirts, but not current bands, more like “Guns and Roses” or “Skid Row”. I think they were salivating at the thought of the rich family member coming back to make a payment or two on the trailer for them.

It was about this time there was an audible murmur from the crowd. I glance over and two plains clothes officers with obvious shoulder buldges walk toward the building. At first, I thought the county had gotten wise and picked this occasion to serve warrants. They would have made a killing. But instead, no, hey that is cousin James! He got a little furlough from prison. I heard a statement made, and I am not paraphrasing here: “Oh wow, the last time James got to come to a family function, he had to wear chains. I need to go get a hug!” Nothing says family like the state correctional van sitting in the driveway.

We go inside, and up front there was the display. Several bouquets of flowers, 2 urns, and a framed photo. Apparently they could only find a framed photo of one of the men killed. Sad really. But judging from the obituaries posted in the local newspaper, it is a good thing. Imagine the worlds worst DMV photo, as your answering a question, just having woken up and being hung over, that would be better than the photos in the obits. So one frame is it. As we walked in, there was a young woman dressed in a skin tight red mini skirt. No, tighter than you are thinking right now. She had on a faded black “guns and roses” T shirt, tied up just above her navel. Had it not been distasteful, I would have taken photos, just for you the reader to see.

As we sat down, I suddenly realized that a funeral is no place for a 2 year old. Baby Munkey was crawling all over the pews, acting like a 2 year old would, and should. We were getting dirty looks from Cletus and the clan, but really, I did not care that much. It is a celebration of life, and therefore, Baby Munkey has more life than anyone else there. And then the service started.

The minister started by reading the obituary posting, complete with dates. I think that was for those in attendance that could not read. Really. That is the only thing I could figure out. After reading the obit, the music began. I am not sure the first song, but I do know it was Skid Row. You see, Dennis, one of the men, loved Skid Row. His first son was named Sebastian for the lead singer. So here is this hair metal song blazing into the church. Everyone had the somber look as they were reflecting on the words, which I could not make out. Apparently church sound systems are not designed to handle Rock. And then the the wheels came off. The cd started skipping. A lot of skipping. It took every ounce of self control to not stand up and yell “Re-Mix!” Instead of someone actually realizing that there was a sound issue, they just let it skip. And skip. And Skip. I look at Mrs. Ninjamunkey, and she has a look on her face of pain. After a moment, I realized my face had the same look, and it was not pain, it was contorted to not scream in laughter. After 30-45 seconds of Skid-Skip, someone tried to do the artsy thing and turn down the volume slowly, as if the song was supposed to end that way, on a slow fade of skipping.

After more talking about how the two boys loved to fish and hunt, and sit on a Saturday night with a few beers (I knew the reality was a few beers in the morning, and a few in the evening) and a guitar, they played another song. Again not sure the song, but it was a country song this time, something about when I am gone, there will be a train wreck with my momma who was drunk. Not really, but it was country. It was also on a CD that apparently was used as a beer coaster first, as it was scratched all over and sounding like it was one of the original recordings from Thomas Edison.

Then talk turned to survivors of the boys. Now here is where things are kinda interesting. You see, Jimmy had just gotten engaged to a woman that was also in the fire, but managed to get out in time. (editor note: At this time they are working on bringing criminal charges against the woman for dousing the boys with some sort of flammable, and then lighting the whole thing) Now that woman was actually Jimmy’s brothers ex wife. So had the wedding happened, She would have been her children’ mother and aunt. The other boy had just reconciled with his exwife and was heading to Arkansas to be with her and his children, and this was supposed to be the going away last hurrah for him.

Of course all of this was glossed over in the ceremony, but I kept waiting for a Jerry Springer sort of moment, but none came. You know, the “you stole my husband and my dog and then killed him, the husband not the dog” type of thing. As the service was ending, they played “Every Rose Has it Thorns” by Poison. A fitting choice to end an event such as this.

I am sure at this point, if you don’t know me and are reading this, you are thinking one of several things: 1) Man this guy is a snob and an asshole. I cannot believe he would take something so sacred and make fun of it. 2) This guy would be a blast to hang out with, he is dark and demented 3) Is that you, brother Ninjamunkey?

And how was your weekend???

Looking to the sky...

2005-09-28T07:48:00.000-05:00

Let me start off by saying, I was a gypsy child. My parents moved me around. A lot. Until the 3rd grade, I went to a small church owned christian school in pleasant grove. For those of you not in the know, Pleasant Grove is sort of a suburb of Dallas, but still part of Dallas itself. Its a weird place man. Over the years it has gotten rougher, but until 3rd grade, it was just a place to live. That all changed one night when someone decided to break into our house. You see, we had window unit air conditioners around the house. Someone started pulling the duct tape from the sides of the A/C unit in order to either A) steal it, or B) steal me. Anyway, we decided to move to Caddo Mills, Texas. Yes that is right, Caddo Mills. We almost moved to Fate, Texas, and that sounds rather off in itself. So here we are moving for the first time in my short lifetime.

My parents were not rich by any means. In fact, they were kind of poor. I did not know it, but apparently they were. I thought all families had beans and rice for nearly every meal. I dunno, maybe mom was a horrible cook, and since dad was a vegetarian, it...aww we were poor. So when it came time to move, dad borrowed a truck from his work, and we started loading everything into white trash luggage (black hefty bags). I remember it seemed to take forever to my impatient young mind, and knowing the miles now, yeah, it would have taken forever.

It was a cold and dreary night that we were moving our stuff out to a much larger, if not much more in disrepair, home in Caddo. I remember thinking that there would be cattle running through the streets, which would be made of dirt and dust. I could see something out of Gunsmoke. I was so wrong, there was not a saloon to be found. Anywho, we were moving our stuff in this single cab Silverado truck, driving into the darkness, when something shifted in the truckbed. I remember seeing things falling from the sides of the trucks, like someone had shoved it all out. There were chairs, and boxes and plastic bins going overboard like rats on a sinking ship. So here I am, 7 years old about to get my first adult task assigned to me.

I was running along the side of the two lane blacktop "highway" looking for displaced cargo. A box here, a bag there. It started to rain, a heavy drizzle that only made the situation more pathetic. I remember carrying a bag of somthing that sounded like kitchen ware back to the truck, and handing it to dad to load. Running back down the pavement, there he was.

I had a 9 inch Han Solo figure, we had found in a garage sale. He was missing the belt, the blaster, and whatever else he was packaged with, but I still loved the hell out of that toy. He used to stomp through my room, stepping on the smaller action figures. He terrorized many a village of snoopy, GI Joe, and whoever else was around.

So there was Han, laying near the center stripe of the "highway" looking skyward. The rain was starting to fall a lot harder, and I remember seeing poor Hans eyes staring into the heavens, water pooling into the unblinking eyes. It was as if he was asking an unseen force how he managed to be in this position after so many victories, pirate runs, and shootouts, only to be fallen by a lopsided cargo hold.

I grew up a lot that day. It might have had something to do with knowing I was mature enough to sprint down the highway, chasing a house full of dreams and fallen memories. It might have been because a new stage of my life was starting, and I was going to have to figure out who I was. Or maybe it is because Han Solo showed me that its ok to look skyward, but that I need to remember to blink, or I might drown.

Memories...

2005-09-27T09:38:00.000-05:00

I was about 6, maybe 7. I had walked home from school, about half a mile. (see back in those days, I could walk to and from school, and not have to worry about perverts. But then again, it was a small town, and any perverts would have been run out of town by a local mob, had there been a need for it) I got home, unlocked the door, and went inside. I knew I had at least an hour but more like 2 before mom got home from work. Dad would not be home for another 4 hours or so, so I had plenty of time to get into trouble. I pushed the wicker seated dining chair across the brown linolium tiled floor. I still have no clue as to why the predominant decorating fad of the mid 80's was dark brown, dark brown with white checkerboard, dark brown with light brown, and country blue. Ick. Almost as bad as alvocado green and burnt orange of the 70's and early 80's, but when you had a transitional kitchen with the burnt orange fridge, alvocado green counter tops, except for that section of butchers block formica, and then the dark brown doors, frames and paneled walls, well obviously I came from a family of sightless, home improvement challenged procrastinators. But I digress.

So here I was, with the dark brown bentwood and wicker dining chair, pushing it up the the top level of the kitchen cabinet. This was where the goodies were kept. The candy, cookies, Little Debbie snack cakes, all of the things my parents ate after the kids were in bed. But today, I would have mine, thankyouverymuch! So I reach high on the shelf, and grabbed the first thing I found. Actually that is not true, there were probably 20 or 30 of them, and I figured they would not have a true count. I climbed back down the chair, making sure there were no finger prints.

As I ran to my room with my pirated booty, I knew the sheer joy that a jewel thief felt after a good run. I felt the adreneline rush that I am sure most race car drivers felt. It was such a sweet victory to that 6 year old. I unwrapped the little blue square, carefully, making sure not the shred the paper. I knew that if one sliver of paper were left behind, my victory would be short lived.

I took the little brown square from its former home, and carefully popped it into my mouth, and prepared myself for the chocolate explosion I was about to have. Indeed there was an explosion. At first it was salty. Then it burned my tongue, as it began to melt and fill my mouth with whatever god aweful things they had put in the piece of candy. It was gritty, like I had eaten sand. I tried to spit it out, but it was melted already, and only a brown paste came out.

I ran to the bathroom and tried in vain to wash my mouth out with the toothbrush holder full of water. That only made it worse, and seemed like I had just invited several cans of oil into my mouth. I began using the tissue to wipe my mouth out, but the tissue was cheap, and began to fall apart in my mouth. Now I had a brown burning oil soaked tissue paste in my mouth. I ran in circles trying to find a solution that would make the bad taste stop. Nothing worked. I brushed my teeth. Then I tried to drink some milk. Then I had a milky, Crest tasting brown stained mouth.

It was not until much later in life, as I prepared my first Thanksgiving dinner, that what I had actually eaten that day was a chicken boullion cube. I related this story to Mrs. Ninjamunkey last night, and I have never seen her laugh so hard. Hell, I have not laughed that hard in a long time. And as a geek in a new revoultion would say "That is totally going in my blog!"

Grrr

2005-09-20T07:26:00.000-05:00

So I sit here, trying to calm down after a near violence inducing fit thrown by yours truly. You see, here at the ninjamunkey home away from home (work) we have these little scanners, much like what most retailers use, in order to catalog parts for shipment. I was not involved in the team that configured them, was only the original assignee to set them up in the first place. Today, the team that did the actual programming is on thier 2nd day of vacation. And I have found a major flaw. I wont bore you all with the details, but suffice it to say, they effed it up royally. Imagine having 2 units named the same, trying to do different things. So I am trying to get things working, and get a bit fustrated. I call my "boss" and ask him what I should do. He has the approach that since we were not really trained, there is not much we can do but bandaid the situation. Here is where i get annoyed.

You see, anywhere I have ever worked, we had the "hit by a bus" program. Say person A does something, and is pretty much the subject expert. If he were to be hit by a bus, then no one would know anything about his job. So he trained another person, and then created documentation on what he did. That way, it was a covered subject. Here, not so much.

So while I know that it is not my fault that I am stuck supporting software and pieces of hardware I do not know anything about, I still feel responsible when I cannot get them to work. Makes me feel like I have no idea as to what is going on, and when I get to feeling like that, the stress, fustration, and irritation boil over. I feel like I am expendable at that point. I mean why pay someone to be here if they dont know what is going on?

So my boss just called me after I sent him an email titled "seriously screwed up" telling me that it would be ok, and to calm down and dont have a panic attack. Sure, good advice, but shouldnt he be the one to panic one in a while? Shouldn't he have a sense of urgency that I cannot find anywhere else in this company?

up, up, and away...

2005-09-19T12:14:00.000-05:00

So Mrs. Ninjamunkey decided this past weekend would be a good time to take the baby munkey to the Balloon Festival. You see, imagine 40-50 hot air balloons taking off from a central point and flying over the city. It was a pretty cool site. However, seeing as this is Texas, the tempature hovered around the "bursting into flames" point. It was a bad sign, when the cheapo parking (5$) was already stacked up 12 hours after the event opened. There was supposed to be pony rides, face painting, and other cool kiddo activities. Not sure where the pony was, but after the mile hike into the festival area from the parking area, I was looking for that little bastard to ride back to the car. We never saw a face painting area, but we did see balloons take off. Its a good thing they were rising into the air, because the 150,000 estimated people in attendace would have blocked the view if they had not. We did get several glasses of lemonaide, and a couple of bottles of water. That was the extent of that paycheck. I think baby munkey did in fact enjoy himself, waving at the balloons and wanting to hold them. I did have a cool dad moment though. We passed a booth peddling everything from bubble makers to jewelry, where they had blow up hot air balloons. He saw them and threw a fit. The funny part was I had already made my way around the other side of the booth and was getting him one of the balloons. I came around the corner to see mom telling him to calm down, and his eyes saw me, rather saw the inflated ballon in my hand, and he lit up like a christmas tree. He was quite pleased with it, and I felt like a cool dad for picking one up for him.

All in all, it was a fairly good time, rather hot, humid, and a hell of a lot of walking, but I think he had fun, and sometimes, that is the most important part.

I remember...

2005-09-16T08:49:00.000-05:00

I remember when I could fill up the gas tank for less than a days wages…

I remember when time clocks were punched, not swiped…

I remember when getting to third base was not, as sports guy of ESPN.com page 2 said, a threesome that was not filmed…

I remember when the conversation was “Oh I taped that last night, I will make you a copy” not “Its on my DVR, I will email you the file”…

I remember when porn was either found in discarded magazines, national geographic, or a seedy video store back room, behind beaded curtains…

I remember when 2 women having sex was taboo…

I remember when TV guide was a book of TV shows, not a website…

I remember when a website was where spiders hung out…

I remember when college students looked like adults, not kids…

I remember when girls hung out at the mall, dressed like girls, not hookers…

I remember when going to the mall was a good way to spend a Friday night…

I remember when talking on the phone required you to lean against the wall in the kitchen, trying to keep your voice down, and being tethered by a cord.

I remember when entertainment was a bottle of Boon’s Strawberry Hill and a Nintendo

I remember text messages being on a piece of paper, folded like origami…

I remember when a druggie was someone that smoked pot…

I remember when the funniest word ever being “fart”…

I remember when going out to dinner meant McDonalds…

I remember when I thought these I remember things were written by old farts.

The fool on the hill....

2005-09-15T14:04:00.000-05:00

Stolen from Ali, who copied and pasted several tests together to make this one, which I would like to see make the rounds....

First and middle names: Nathan Ray

Do you like your name? Do you wish you could change it?: You know, I used to hate it, because it sounds like such a redneck name, then I realized that my family is a bunch of rednecks, and knew no better

Nicknames: Nate, Ninjamunkey, Daddy Munkey

Favorite color: Gray

Super Powers: Computer fixer, that is about it. I am so lame.

Previous Jobs: Oh boy, in no particular order: marine, porn editor, photographer for insurance company, bar manager, waiter, bar tender, bodyguard, Radio Host, Car sales, grocery clerk, accounting guru, house cleaner, security guard, gas station attendant, fast food

Current Occupation: IT specialist for GM subdivision

Do you like it?: usually, but it has its moments that suck

Brothers and Sisters: One sister that makes me look like the good child

Birthdate: September 7

Zodiac sign: Virgo

Birthplace: Langdon, North Dakota (air force base)

City where you were raised: All over Texas, Oklahoma

Elementary school: Caddo Mills Elementary, Caddo Mills Texas

High School: Caddo Mills, North Mesquite, JJ Pearce, Berkner

College: some time at Eastfield Junior

Majors in College. Wasting money on classes, not attending classes

Favorite subjects in school: Math (no really) English, and creative writing

Motto: Live each day like its your last, cause one day you will be right

I wanted to grow up to be: taller. Instead I am a tubby bitch

Morning person or evening person? Right now, neither. I work varying shifts with my job, so I hate mornings and late nights

Introvert or outgoing? Introverted outgoing person

Life of the party or shy? I have no idea

Prefer to veg out or stay busy?: I love to be busy, get busy

Last time I wet the bed: Making a wet spot count?

Two liittle known skills of mine: Picking up things with my feet

Favorite hobby: Photography

Hobby you're most skilled at: I have no idea how to answer that

Favorite Game where you get to shoot people? Rush hour traffic.

Best movie you saw in the last two years? Charlie and the Choclate Factory/Batman Begins

Who is your favorite Saturday Night Live star of All-time? Farley/Hartman

Where was the worst bathroom you were ever FORCED to use? I have never been forced to use a bathroom. I am a guy, if the bathroom is grody, I go outside.

On a man, do you prefer boxers, briefs, or none? I really don’t prefer men, thanks. I do wear boxer briefs usually though

What kind of underwear, if any, do you wear?: Yeah, just covered that

What is your favorite CURRENT TV show? Rescue Me
What is your favorite SHOT? toradal

What is your favorite mixed drink? Crown and coke, or maybe a vodka tonic with lime

What is your favorite "fruity" drink?: Mai Tai

What is your favorite beer? Don’t really have one, as long as its cold and cheap

What is your dream car? Not good to dream about cars. But I would like to have a jeep wrangler soft top to run around in on the weekends

What is your favorite way to spend a weekend>: Oddly, working on the house, or shopping with my family
What is your favorite ice cream? Strawberry

What is your favorite gambling activity? Sex without birth control

What is your favorite Broadway play? Rent

Favorite Restaurant (Not a Chain)? Windy City Grill

Favorite Chain restaurant? Satlgrass

Last song you downloaded? Prince-Darling Nikki

What was your first car? A 1972 Chevy Nova

If you were an animal, what would you be? A monkey

What's your favorite animal? monkey

Do you have any pets? yes

If so, what are they? a Golden Retriever, a black Lab, and a tank full of fish

Have you ever been bitten by a dog? And if so, what kind? A pit bull, and a doberman

Have you ever had a perm? No

What color is your hair? What style is it? What cut is it? Brown, short

What color are your eyes? Brown

Favorite bottled water? Deja Blue or AquaFina

Favorite soda: Diet Coke

Favorite candy bar? Butterfinger Crisp

Favorite frozen novelty? Fudge bomb

Favorite kind of chips? Cool Ranch Doritos

Favorite Asian food: Fried Rice

Favorite "American" food: Barbecue

Favorite Italian food: Stromboli

Favorite Mexican food: Fajitas

Favorite breakfast cereal? Life

Favorite cookie: Ali’s Homemade Cookies

What was the name of your first boyfriend? Cant say as I have had one

How old were you? 30 when I took this quiz

Did you kiss him on the mouth? Hee, doubtful

Have you ever had a thing for a friend's dad? What sort of guy do you think I am?

Favorite PULP FICTION quote? Feel that sting? That’s pride fuckin with you

Shot at the doctor ASS or ARM? Arm

Do you ever want to sky dive? I have

What about bungee jumping? I have

What about Scuba diving? I have

What is your favorite Game Show? Survivor

Favorite all-time city: Chicago

At least 5:
Bands I Love:
Bowling for Soup
Blues Traveler
DMB
Maroon 5
Ben Harper and the fun loving Criminals

Books I would recommend:
Jarhead
Kevin Smith Speaks
The DaVinci Code
Skipping Christmas
Memory of Running

Favorite T.V. Shows:
Simpsons
CSI (any of them)
Rescue Me
Family Guy
Shield

Favorite movies:
Pulp Fiction
Clerks
Mallrats
Reservoir Dogs
Kill Bill 1 and 2

2005-09-09T22:50:00.000-05:00

Musically inspired blogging on a Friday night. Very much a direct theft of Ali's blog, and since she is hot, and a genius, I think its a great idea.

Playing: Everybody Knows-Leonard Cohen

By now, the world has become aware that as a nation, we cannot take care of our own, but will go to the ends of the earth for another country. Everyone has a reason to think this is wrong, but really, it’s a typical situation. We feed the hungry in Africa, write and sing songs about them, and forget that our streets are lined with people trying to find work. We liberate countries for democracy, pushing out regimes that are wrong, only to have our servicemen get killed trying to keep democracy in check. Is it really democratic if someone else sets it up?

Who needs Shelter-Jason Mraz

I still cannot understand what the hell went wrong in NOLA. By most accounts, it was insanity. Even more so, is that Dallas is working hard to get the displaced into apartments for free here in the metroplex. I am all for helping people that need it, but at the same time, wouldn’t that lead to the same insane effers shooting at rescue workers to live next door to me? Can I veto this yet? Dallas needs no real help in keeping the crime rates up. Seriously.

Freedom- Blues Traveler

Getting away from the deep and heavy, I have to say, aside from not being with my family, having my sleep patterns all kinds of screwed up, I kinda like working at night. I mean look, I am sitting here blogging and listening to Ipod music, and get away with it with no issues. Hell the shift manager just offered me his 2 inch TV to watch while I am here. I can work on projects, or like most nights, claim there were lots of service calls that were user error, and not have to do any work at all. I get paid for this!

Bittersweet-Big Head Todd and the Monsters

So tomorrow night, we are having my 30th birthday shindig at the casa. Most of my friends will be there, and their friends bud, jack, the captain, gin and whiskey will be making the rounds. I am hoping to have some blackjack or poker going too. I wish all of my friends could be there together, but many live in California, have lives outside of my little circle, or otherwise occupied. I will have a drink for them anyway, and one for them, and those guys over there, and him, and you.

Thanks A lot- Third Eye Blind

So question for the masses, and by masses I mean the 2 or 3 people that read this. Say you have an acquaintance, someone you don’t know super well, but she comes around. Say this person will come to your house, and decide to help themselves to food in the pantry, whatever is in the fridge. She might go into your medicine cabinet and grab some pain relievers, all the while never asking permission. Would you stop her, call her out on it, or just chalk it up to someone being comfortable in your home?

Evenflow-Pearl Jam

I walked outside tonight at dinner, and could hear a football game in the distance. You see, Friday night in Texas during the late summer and fall is football season. I could faintly hear the announcer, the quads of the marching band, the crowd yelling. It brought to mind a simpler time. Back in the late 80’s early 90’s I was a football player man for the various schools my family would move me to. Knowing that as long as there was no homework, I would be on a bus, traveling to an away game, rocking out to my discount store knockoff walkman, with the orange headphones, getting amped up for a game in which I was told to destroy the quarterback. Wondering if I played well enough, would I get a kiss from that hot cheerleader or drill team girl I had been chatting up in World History, but knowing more than likely I would wind up with the rest of the team, pretending we were getting some later. Knowing that in the hallways we were heros, and that soon, the world would know who we were. Dealing with that one teacher that did not care we were stars of the gridiron, and tried to flunk us anyway. The huge zits on my chin from the chinstrap I wore 5 days a week, hours at a time. Come to think of it, those times were not easy or simple. There was much more stress, politics, bullies, assholes and the lot. What was I thinking?

Call and Answer- Barenaked Ladies

So my sister has written us off apparently. Not that she had much to do with us in the first place. I would hear from her only when she was in trouble, or needed money, or wanted to convince me that my parents were in the Manson family and were telling horrible lies about her. She has been logged into Yahoo mobile for the past week, but will not answer when I text her. Her screen name is libertyanne2003, so feel free to try and get her to talk. Course she might offer you drugs. Never know with her. Damn, that was mean. Charlie told me to say it.

Well I am going to keep listening, you keep reading, and feel free to let me know what you think. I read all comments, and only delete the critical ones.

Musing....

2005-09-09T19:30:00.000-05:00

One of my new favorite activities to do at work when I am bored, is to go into blogger, and hit "Next Blog" button on the top right of the page. I can find every flavor of blog out there, some that I bookmark to follow up with, cause they are either amusing, funny, or just plain odd. Mind you I have to get through a lot of international blogs, which I dont read, only because I dont know that many foreign languages. Bus boy is not a language.

I am supposed to sing tomorrow night at the fiesta. Not sure how that came about, but its a good song, and one that has become one of my favorites the past few weeks. Should be a nice train wreck

So I just filled up the tank on the jeep, and it was 50 bucks. How in the hell are minimum wage workers making it to work and back? Hell, at this rate, how am I?

I watched part of the concert benifit for the Gulf Coast, and it ended abruptly. The message was the live video has ended, but in the background I could hear who i assume are IT guys walking around, talking. One hour? That is all they are going to be on? Seriously? Who decided that one?

Greatest quote I have found recently is from Steve Jobs, Apple Inc, "Live each day like its your last, cause one day, your going to be right" How true it is.

I thought I had more, but I got a rock

Dark as a dungeon...

2005-09-08T18:03:00.000-05:00

So I sit here tonight, really not doing much. Night shift for my company is a lot of hand holding, and answering email related questions. Not very productive. Which means a 9 hour shift feels like it is 12-15 hours long. I requested days, since that is what i have hired on for, and was told today, "we might be able to get you 2 day shifts next week" I could go on on how crappy this is, but I am going to move on.

So yesterday was my 30th birthday, and after dropping not so subtle hints, my boss had a cake waiting for me when I got here for a 2:30 meeting. The Ninjamunkey family came up here for dinner break, and we sat around in my spacious room, eating waterburger and going on a tour of the plant. While that does not seem like much, it meant the world to me.

This weekend is the big fiesta, and should be a lot of fun. I even think I am going to sing a song. I know I am going to have some drinks, and laughs. Should be a fun time.

Of course the news is still Katrina. I am tired of hearing about it, especially when they keep blaming each other for everything, and the talking heads of news media want to fan the flames. Yeah yeah, enough already. Get the people help, however you can, and move on

with that I close, I have velcro to stick, and I am trying to decide who to stick it to.

Hairbands and Ballads

2005-09-06T21:08:00.000-05:00

So its the last day of my 20's. This is my last day to be youthful, and silly. Or so you would think. How did I spend it?

I got up early, as seeing the baby munkey is not very easy lately, as he goes to "school" while I am sleeping, and is long gone nite nite when I get home from work. So up at 7, spent a little while with the little man, and took him to school with mom. We then went to the tanning salon, because at 30, I don't want to look like the underbelly of a beached whale any longer. So we joined a tanning shop, and have gone twice.

We then went home, and started working on cleaning the garage. This has been a 2 year project in the making. Our garage is not like a normal "park your car in here, and that is it" garage. Its a "what the hell do we need this extra blender for? Oh we better keep it incase there is an emergency". So we began cleaning, and hanging shelving, and stuff like that.

We then went to buffalo wild wings for lunch, where the service, the food and the sports on TV was so bad, I found myself reading the menu over and over.

I then came to work, where I have had the distinct pleasure of doing nothing for the past 2 hours. Its nice to be paid for this, but I would gladly give up the money to be at home hanging out with the family.

So anyway, to recap, my 20s are going out with a flutter, and the 30's look to have much of the same in them for me. But sometimes, calm and boring win out over drunken debauchery. Sometimes.

Musing...

2005-09-01T20:24:00.000-05:00

I am sitting here, listening to Stairway to Heaven on the ipod, wishing I had a normal schedule this week, as I would be home watching Tivo, or *shock*talking to my hot wife. But no, I am trying to configure a dinner bell scheduler. What that has to do with break/fix desktop support is beyond my comprehension.

I have been reading a lot about katrina the last few days. I have yet to really voice my opinion, because everyone else does it so well. Its very odd for me, and I am going to try and express it.

As I begin to dwindle down the days of my 20's, I am reminded how fleeting life is. Watching the interviews pre levee break, how people were shaking thier fists at the storm, daring ma nature to come get them, I thought it was rather funny. I thought the media coverage was a bit heavy, but hey, I am in Texas, and Lousiana is down the road. It was big news.

Then BAM the whole city is flooded, getting worse, water rising to the tops of 3rd floor buildings, blues legends, like Fats Domino, are missing, and it is a crises. Then dumb asses start shooting at helicopters, jackasses are looting for beer and jewelry, and the world is suddenly paying attention. Tsunamis have nothing on this bitch Katrina.

At one point, it dawned on me that this is not something that should happen in America, the land of the free, and home of the 30 pack of beers. This is something you hear about in 3rd world countries. This is where the guys wade through the water, and steal camels (to ride not smoke)or dates or something. Not the french quarter.

I saw pictures of gun toting marshals, and all I could do was imagine the desert behind them, not the friggin superdome. How does this happen? If water washes away Fort Worth, will there be riots over cowboy hats?

My cousin James lives just north of New Orleans, and while I was talking to him on his cell phone yesterday, he was describing the people walking through his neighborhood, just walking north. Very little car traffic, just a steady stream of dirty, wet tired faces. I wanted to cry. He was having trouble dealing with it, because as he said "I cant blame anyone for anything, but New Orleans has gone the way of Atlantis"

Who do you blame at this point? No one. Everyone. The looters, the cops, the engineers, the guy that charges 2 cents more for gas than the other station around the corner. The weathermen. No one.

Another quiz

2005-08-31T18:28:00.000-05:00

So false

Your Birthdate: September 7

Born on the 7th day of month gives you a tendency to be something of a perfectionist and makes you more individualistic in many ways.

Your mind is good at deep mental analysis and complicated reasoning.

You are very psychic and sensitive, and you should usually follow your hunches.

You may not take orders too well, so you may want to work alone or in a situation where you can be the boss.

This birthday gives a tendency to be somewhat self-centered and a little stubborn.

What Does Your Birth Date Mean?

A recent conversation...

2005-08-30T20:17:00.000-05:00

Overheard in the Casa:

Mrs: So what do you want to do for your birthday?
Ninjamunkey: I would love to take a weekend trip, somewhere we have never been. Maybe New Orleans? I would love to site see, and get ripped on bourbon street.
Mrs: That sounds great, start shopping for the best deal...

After about 2 or 3 days, we realized that flying was the only way to do it and have time to site see, but of course, it was super expensive. So we did what we normally do with plans, and put them off. We were supposed to be there next weekend. This week, the city has been washed away, and most of it has been evacuated.

So I ask you, faithful reader (numbering 1), is that good luck that we did not go, or bad luck for the city itself. I find myself being in the former, because self preservation and safety of my family is more important that any mixed drink in the French Quarter.

Night Moves...

2005-08-29T17:41:00.000-05:00

So this week I am working the night shift. What did I do to deserve this? Sure it is going to be slower, and in a much less hectic plant, but I am used to working 5:30am-3:30pm, and now I am getting here at 3 pm. Sucks. But I will make the best of it.

Still fighting with the insurance company over the stuff that was stolen, and it seems like it will happen for the rest of my natural life.

So the casa is just about ready for the big 3-oh shindig, and if you did not get an invite, email me. I might send one out, cause that means more presents for me. I know that is a immature way to look at it, but when your turning 30, immaturity is something you cling to.

It appears that my sister is trying to sue my parents for ruining her credit. Not that they did anything other than stop paying the bills. She is claiming that they got her the cards before she was 18 and ran them up. Only half of that is true. Who knew that she could be so evil?

Well its time to start working for a few minutes...I will try to post my activities as I go. Should provide entertainment, or at least give people reason to say "what are they paying him for?"

The cup is half empty....

2005-08-25T08:14:00.000-05:00

"This job would be great if it wasn't for the fucking customers"...Randal in Clerks

So its Thursday, and I have had a week to forget. Nothing spectacular other than working that shift on Monday, only to open the next morning, 4 hours later. It was great. sarcasm on high alert today.

Sitting in my office yesterday, working on a PC, surrounded by a stack of machines, printers stacked around the room, and various electronic guts laying around. Imagine my suprise when someone came to my door and said "are you in IT?"

The paper towel dispenser in the bathroom here has a instructions on it. Not so wierd. Having an arrow pointing to a small wheel and referring to it as the "emergency release" has me wondering. What the hell kind of emergency can you have with a paper towel dispenser?

Still fighting with the insurance company to replace all the stuff that was stolen, but each phone call finds them wanting more stuff. Like manuals, receipts, proof of purchases. Yeah, like I had a "when it gets stolen, here is all the paperwork I am going to need" file on my desk.

Apparently I have the super human ability to be on time to work. My co-irkers can not seem to figure that one out around here. I had a buddy I used to work with that was on average 30 minutes late each day. It was so regular, it bacame a standard. I now have my night shift counterpart that cannot arrive before 40-50 minutes after his shift begins. HE comes in at 3pm! He only works 9 hours. I am not sure why there is a problem, and I really dont know why he is still employeed. You watch, the first time I am late, I will be willing to bet that they say something to me, and I will be forced to delete thier user accounts. Shocking abuse of authority.

Baby Munkey spent the weekend with his grandparents, and came home spoiled rotten. He does not want to mind, pay attention, throws a fit when he does not get his way, and is hellbent on destruction. Oddly, that is the yearbook description of my sister. I am beginning to see a trend. Lets just hope he knows to Just Say No.

Night Shift

2005-08-22T16:07:00.000-05:00

so today I am covering for the night guy by working his shift. Rather, I was here at 3 and working until I can sneak out the door. Of course I have to cover my normal 5:30 am shift in the morning, so I hope I can get out of here before midnight. In the mean time, I am supposed to clean the server room, and a bunch of other crap that my boss has decided I need to do. Granted he was here all day and did nothing, so its up to me. Oddly, the guy I am covering for is at jury duty. I had not idea that jury duty ran until 11-12 at night.

I should have spent the day relaxing and resting for tonight, but instead, I worked on the house, and cleaned, and hung a misting system on the new patio.

Hopefully I can get some downtime when everyone leaves, and work on important stuff, like ipod music lists, and blogs, and email and stuff. Keep your fingers crossed.

I am a blogging, quiz taking fool!!!!

2005-08-18T13:57:00.000-05:00

stolen from everyone else that did this before me

LAYER ONE: ON THE OUTSIDE
Name: Nathan
Birthdate: 09/07/1975
Birthplace: Langdon, ND
Current Location: Fort Worth, TX
Hair Color: Brown
Righty or Lefty: Bat and Throw Left

LAYER TWO: ON THE INSIDE
Your heritage: American Indian, Irish, welsh, Italian, corgi, Labrador,
Shoes you wore today: NB 405
Your fears: spiders, clowns, losing my family
Your perfect pizza: deepdish with hamburger, pepperoni, sausage
Goal you'd like to achieve: Be content to just be

LAYER THREE: there is NEVER a three.

LAYER FOUR: YESTERDAY, TODAY, TOMORROW
Your most overused phrase on IM: yeah…
Your thoughts first waking up: 4:40am??? Im not in morning radio!
Your best physical feature: Adonis like muscle tone
Your bedtime: Before the news, after some Tivo
Your most missed memory: Playing outside til it got dark, not worrying about strangers, kidnappers, and pedophiles like my son will.

LAYER FIVE: YOUR PICK
Pepsi or Coke: Wild Cherry Pepsi
McDonald's or Burger King: Usually Micky D’s, for consistancy
Single or group dates: single, just cause I did not have many friends
Adidas or Nike: New Balance
Lipton Ice Tea or Nestea: Lipton
Chocolate or vanilla: swirl
Cappuccino or coffee: which is free?

LAYER SIX: DO YOU? or ARE YOU?
Smoke: Yes, after a long hiatus
Cuss: Hell yes
Single: Proudly, no
Have a crush: all day every day
Think you've been in love: yes
Like high school: sometimes
Want to get married: Already am, so sure
Believe in yourself: nope
Get motion sickness: not much
Think you're attractive: if they like fat men in overcoats, sure
Think you're a health freak: hmmm, besides the cigarettes?
Get along with your parents: Actually, for the first time in 30 years, yes
Like thunderstorms: Love them, especially when they are violent
Play an instrument: my organ, and well guitar, and some piano

LAYER SEVEN: IN THE PAST MONTH
Drank alcohol: yup
Gone on a date:yup
been on stage: define stage…
eaten an entire box of Oreos: Nah, not for me
Eaten sushi: never
Been dumped: no
Gone skating: no
Gone skinny dipping: not yet
Stolen anything: the ladies hearts….

LAYER EIGHT: HAVE YOU EVER
Played a game that required removal of clothing: Don’t think so
Been caught "doing something:” A few times
Been called a tease: nearly every day
Gotten beaten up: yes

LAYER NINE: GETTING OLDER
Age you hope to be married: still? 80
Number of Children: only 1
Describe your dream wedding: something to look back on and smile, and have photos we could proudly display
How do you want to die: Not today, tomorrow is out too, see me in 2075
What do you want to be when you grow up: The same thing I am now, a big kid
Where would you most like to visit: Inexpensive gas station

LAYER TEN: IN A GAL/GUY
Best eye color: Green/Hazel
Best hair color: brown/auburn/red
Short or long hair: hair depends on person, some look hot with short hair, some, not so much
Height: not a concern, but shorter than me
Best first date location: NOT El Chico’s restaurant
Best first kiss location: mouth area

LAYER ELEVEN: IN THE NUMBERS
Number of people I could trust with my life: two Ali and Me
Number of CDs I own: Hmmm 50 gigs of MP3’s count?
Number of piercings: left ear
Number of tattoos: planning number 2, and covering #1
Number of times my name has appeared in the newspaper: Several
Number of scars on my body: Lets see, 100, 101, 102….not quite sure

Stolen...

2005-08-18T08:57:00.000-05:00

From Ali, who stole it from Jodi, who stole it from someone else, who robbed peter to pay paul, Who did not get along with Ringo as first reported

Cheese Pizza

Traditional and comforting.
You focus on living a quality life.
You're not easily impressed with novelty.
Yet, you easily impress others.

What's Your Pizza Personality?

do or do not, there is no try....

2005-08-18T06:08:00.000-05:00

I am going to play a little bit of catch-up here, and fill you in on all the happenings of the last few days or so.

Sunday I go to get gas in the Jeep, only to find that someone had broken in, and stolen my iPod, Radar detector, laptop, digital camera, and other stuff. I did not realize how much I loved music, and the iPod until I did not have it for my 4:30 drive to work. Granted, the radar detector is still something I miss, not being able to drive 75-80mph, but at least we bought a replacement iPod, making my drive not nearly as painful.

Work has been a series of ups and downs, full of fustration, irritation, and exhaustion. In other words, another week. But its Thursday, and that is almost as good as Friday, but not as bad as Monday.
I was officially given an office, which makes things feel a little more permanant, since prior to this week, I was sitting at a folding table.

Baby Munkey is going to spend the weekend with the chainsaws, and he is excited, they are excited, and we are definately excited. See that means we get to watch TV at a normal rate, instead of taking 3 hours to watch a Tivo'd 1 hour show. There are lots of instances of "baby, dont dive from the sofa", "get out of the dog cage", "don't eat the weeks old macaroni you hid behind the curtains". Should be nice. Might actually be able to clean the house, instead of stepping over and around piles of blocks, dinosaurs, trucks, and shoes. Imagine....

Speaking of TV and all things entertainment related, here are a few to check out if you have time, or Tivo.

1) Over There-FX-I have to say, I was unsure about this one, it was brought to us by the same guy that thought Cop Rock was a good idea. Its actually a really good show, and is more about the characters and their interaction in Iraq, than Iraq and the misguided attempts being made there.

2) Family Guy-Fox-Not sure if anyone ever watched this much before it was cancelled, but I was not that impressed in the beginning. I have since gone back and watched reruns on Cartoon Network, and watch the new ones now. This show is smart, way funny, and just over the top to keep me tuning in without getting uncomfortable (see Southpark for uncomfortable jokes, yet I try to catch that too)

3) Rescue Me-FX-Not only does this have Denis Leary, one of my alltime favorite standup acts, but it constantly keeps me laughing. Then wondering if that makes me un PC for laughing. The Theme song is great, the acting is great, the characters are great, and it is something I look forward to each week.

5) New music I have recently found, for those amoung us that remember and enjoy 80's synth pop, but want something new

The Postal Service

Now everyone out there may have caught all of these items, but if not, send a check to....

Awwww, never mind, just send coffee, its still early

Catching my breath....

2005-08-09T06:49:00.000-05:00

So this weekend, we christened the new patio cover. We had the neighbors over for cocktails (read lots of beer) and conversation. It was quite lovely, but pointed out something we have been overlooking. We have a muddy swamp for a backyard. Granted, normally, I do not water the lawn all that much. My thought process is, if it dies, I dont have to mow it. IF mother nature is too damn busy to water my lawn for me, I am not going to pick up the slack. What has resulted from that foolhearted thought process is large bare spots that turn to mud when it does rain. The dogs then run through it and create a mess, and then track the mud all over the house, and all over the patio.
Yesterday, I started working the ground and planting grass seed. I am an impatient person by default, so waiting on grass to grow is going to be like....well, waiting for grass to grow. But the end result should be a great lush yard of green grass that I will actually take the time to water. Or I might just have bigger muddy spots with grass seed sticking out of it. At least I am trying.

Getting settled into week 2 of my 5:30-3:30 shift. Its not so bad. I can avoid the traffic in the mornings, and in the afternoons, its usually pretty light as well. Morning radio is still a pain, but luckily I have the Ipod. Trying to convince myself to go to sleep before 10:30 is a little tough, might have to work on that a little harder. Exhaustion would not be a good compromise.

Looking for ideas for my 30th birthday. I am thinking of many different things, such as a new tattoo, taking a weekend trip with Ali, having a fiesta at the house, or counting gray hairs. THe latter is something I do everyday, so why should that be a special event? Gray in my beard is something special, right?

No one has still heard from my sister, who decided it was time to cut ties with her family, and move away. She apparently is working in a car dealership, and dating a salesman who may or may not know she is still married. She may or may not still be on drugs, and may or may not still have outstanding warrants. She only calls me when she wants money, and when she does not get it, I don't hear from her again for a while, so really, not loosing much.

For those of you scoring at home, I am 12 pounds lighter. It does not make that much of a difference, but I can still honestly say that I am starting to feel more motivated to loose more. Damn the FDA for removing Effedra from the market. Sure it might give you a heart attack, make your pulse race, and give you the jitters, but damn it, I lost weight with it.

And how many licks does it take to get to the center of a tootsie roll pop? The world may never know.

Nothing to see here, move along...

2005-08-05T12:51:00.000-05:00

I have thoughts running in my head, and no where else to put them down, so they are going here.

Why is it I have such a hard time trusting people? Why do I have an issue with meeting new people, and not thinking they are out to get me? Why is it I feel like I am spending so much time trying to earn respect for things I do, only to find I am not noticed at all? Why am I afraid every conversation, meeting, anything like that is about me? Why do I fear being fired all the time?

Why do I fear loosing the ones I love? Why am I afraid I am never doing enough? Why do I think I am not good enough? Why do I have the constant nagging sensation that something in my life is going horribly wrong, with no way to stop it?

Why are other people I work with not worried about being late? Why is it I am the one covered in sweat, running around trying to get everything done, so someone else can take credit for it? Why can’t I sleep at night for more than 3 hours before waking up in a cold sweat, afraid I have forgotten something important? Why am I afraid that the something is going to cause my world to come crashing down around me?

Why do I fear my son will grow to hate me, and everything I stand for? Why do I feel my shortened stint in the USMC makes me less of a person, patriot, man?

Why do I feel the need to continually complain about every job I have ever had? Why do I do this to my wife, when our time together is limited as it is?

Why do I fear every warning light, knock, ping or shudder is a sure sign I bought a car that is going to fall apart?

Why do I think people are going to read this, and those that know me are going to pat me on the head and move around me like the crazy man in the middle of the street wearing a football helmet?

Why can’t I be anything but fat and lazy?

Why do I have fears that others would see as irrational?

Why did I even bother posting this?

Almost quick hit style...

2005-08-03T09:36:00.000-05:00

So I have to ask. What is a fumar? There are signs all over the plant that say no smoking and no fumar. I guess if I ever spot an elusive fumar, I am going to have to shoot it on sight.
____________________________________________________________________________________

Time to vent. One thing that really irritates me: When someone with no children like to chime in with ways you are not raising yours correctly. We were told by the Munkey-In-Laws that we are blase about baby munkey's safety. Yeah when he falls and hurts himself, we usually yell "suck it up" and move on. I don't care how many degrees you have, how much you make, what you drive or where you live. My child is my child. Just because I don't dress him up in full pads everyday, a helmet for his little head, and surround him with pillows, that does not make me a bad dad. Providing that much protection will not make him a better person, it will make him sheltered. We do tend to take a "if he hurts himself, he will know not to do that next time" but not for something like juggling chainsaws. I never wore a helmet when I rode a bicycle, and I am still here to tell the tales of jumping off of homemade ramps, 8 feet in the air.
____________________________________________________________________________________

scariest thing I have heard all day:
Spoken by a coworker, who is about 5'8" and 300 pounds. "Man I really love the food from the Roach Coach. Its not horrible at all!"

You see...

2005-08-02T06:01:00.000-05:00

There are some things in life you should never have to do. Waking up at 4:30am to be at work at 5:30am should not happen, unless you work in morning radio. But that is what I have been instructed to do. I am supposed to be here 30 minutes before everyone else, in order to verify all of the servers are running and whatnot. My boss used to have that distinction, but could not get here on time, so I was dedicated to the task. Yet he is still my boss. Not sure how that works out. Oh well, traffic is light, it only takes 40 minutes instead of an hour, and I get to see the sun come up every morning. Hooray. Note the sarcasm.

So back to my teases from a week ago...

My son is developing a foot fetish, or potential for a foot fetish. He loves to put shoes on, especially his momma's shoes. My socks, her sandles. He tries to rip the shoes from the other children at daycare. Especially the girls. he is not paying for used stocking on the internet, and he is not wanting pictures of feet, but does have a fascination with feet.

In other news, we had a patio cover built this past weekend. After I get the misting system set up, we will have a little oasis in the back yard of the casa. Of course, its only like 111000 degrees out most afternoons, so shade is not that valuable. Again with the sarcasm.

Movie that you should go see if you have a sick sense of humor: Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I loved the original, and its sense of wonder and acid trippyness, but the new one is just as good, only different. Johnny Depp plays the eccentric quite well, and Tim Burton is true to form. The music is done by Danny Elfman, who I think is greatness. Just go out and purchase/download (leagally mind you) any old oingo boingo or music from NIghtmare Before Christmas. It is a very good movie and I would tell everyone of my friends to go see it

I would like to close with a thought that has bothered me for the past week. I am now only scheduled for 50 hours a week, as opposed to 75-90. It almost feels like a vacation. Time for more coffee. Have a great day.

And remember "Don't touch that squirrel's nuts, he does not like it"-Willy Wonka

my wife the porn star

2005-07-26T12:48:00.000-05:00

One day, about a week ago, mrs. Ninjamunkey posted a blog on her site. Apparently a friend she works with found a porn actress he thought she resembled. So he forwards her photos, which she posted on her site. When she showed me, of course my first reaction was “ok that is kinda icky, I don’t watch porn and compare the actresses to my friends, there is something off about that” but then my followup reaction was “hmmm, that is odd, she does kinda resemble mrs. Ninjamunkey.” So of course, being a dutiful husband, I had to go out and download some of the porn in question, as research. Yes, she actually does have some similarities to my wife, around the eyes, the eyebrows, stuff like that. The boobs, much larger, but fake, so not nearly as nice. Yes, you heard it here first, I am not a fan of the fake boobies.

Apparently, said porn star is a big fetish queen. She likes to be tied up, and whatnot. While a little bit of that is cool, something about the ball gag and such gets a little too deep into the “ummm, Im a little uncomfortable” zone. Something about gimps, and pulp fiction, I guess.

So after some research, I have determined that my wife is as hot as the porn star in question, hotter actually. There is something about porn stars that have always turned me off. Its that movie theatre floor mentality. I know its sticky, and I don’t know with what, and I really don’t want to know, so its best not to go barefoot in there. It’s the same thing. I absolutely do not need a porn star, when I have something better waiting on me at home.

So while the similarities are kinda neat, in a different sort of way, please don’t think my wife is a porno queen, and for the love of god, leave that in your pants when you talk to her.

Work and then some...

2005-07-25T11:29:00.000-05:00

So on average for the last month, I have had 59 hours a week. That is the average. Its amazing the things that I have not noticed since I have worked my butt off. I drive past buildings everyday on my route in or out of the office, and suddenly there were new ones this morning. When did those show up????

I dont want you to think that my blog is only going to be about bitching about work, the lack of, the over abundance of, or whatever, but right now, its the only thing I feel like I do anymore.

We went and visited my munkey-in-laws this weekend, and let me tell you, a 4 hour car ride to visit with people you never feel you will ever be good enough to please, well it made for a great time by all.

There are so many things I would like to mention, but honestly, I am sneaking this blog time in between jobs right now, but teasers for next time, in no particular order:

Baby Munkey's Foot Fetish
Being married to a porn star look alike
Finding neighbors to be friends with, and giving them a months salary
being invisible and loving it
getting over my sticky aversion if I want to drive my car
wondering who is reading this at all, and if they enjoy the teasers
My dissappearing sister act, or how I stopped loving and learned to fight the war

musing...

2005-07-12T14:37:00.000-05:00

Technical terms that sound dirty, but are actually not:

"google"-Dude, I totally googled your mom last night.
"floppy"-someone toss me a floppy
"thumbdrive"- just stick your thumbdrive in my port over there.
"clusters"-who the hell is playing with my clusters in there?

Yeah, its one of those days