Great Snack!

Since it has really been a while since I have posted anything of merit, wait, I have never posted anything of merit, but that is beside the point, I thought I would sit down and type out some of the things that I have been trying to remember to share to the rest of my blog readers. (official record for the longest run on pointless waste of time sentence) These are in no particular order, but just randomness that has come and gone in the past few…


I hate it when someone emails me something work related, and CC’s my boss, or his boss. I guess they really believe that if all those names are on there, I will move faster. What they don’t realize is that when I get those emails, I tend to move them to a folder titled “junk mail” and then mark them as unread. That way when the boss or his boss comes to find out why I have not handled the email actions required, I make sure they see me find the email in the junk folder, and say “golly, we really need someone around here that can work on exchange and filtering correctly”. That seems to get their mind off the need to install that printer, especially if they run to their own desks to look for junk mail that might have been valid. With that, I usually buy myself another few hours before the printer gets installed, on my schedule. A little IT trick for you out there.

Why do people pray to Jesus about everything? I mean, we have a guy here, who is probably about 35-40, and is very devout. He likes to have prayer before everything he does. “Dear lord, let me get this fork lift in gear and move those cartons without getting injured”: “Dear lord, Please let the coke machine have more mountain dew, and please let me have correct change” I don’t get it. I thought he was joking at first, and chuckled, and he was offended. That is when I do the patented Ninjamunkey blank look at the ceiling. Ask Mrs. Ninjamunkey, she has seen it once or twice.

This happened to a coworker this morning. Time due in, 6:00am. At 7:55am, my boss calls his cell phone. “Hey man, just wondering where you are” His answer? “Oh I am out on the shop floor at (building location)” Boss: “Huh that’s funny, I have been here since 6 waiting on you, and have yet to see you, get here, now!” See folks, he could have told the truth, that his cat ate his carkeys, or that his tires all went flat at the same time, or in cases where I have gotten that call answered it like this “ Hey boss! Where are you?” Always answer a question like that with a question like that. Got it? Good.

Bumperstickers viewed on the highway of life this week:
“Marriage is the #1 cause of Divorce”- I’d be willing to wager this sticker is #2
“Don’t laugh it’s paid for”-I can also wager you had to finance this sticker too, huh?
“In case of rapture, this car will be empty”-That bad Blondie song? I would leave the car too.
“I love my labradoodle”-thank god someone does, those things are more hideous than the 3 assed monkey!

And again witnessed one of my favorite unintentional jokes. A car marked with shoe polish, FOR SALE-RUNS GOOD broken down on the side of the highway.


That is all for now, gotta get back in there and bounce some emails around. Have fun, stay young, and stop itching it unless you want it to spread.