Wednesday, August 23, 2006


So recently I find myself watching TV at night after the rest of the munkey casa has retired for the evening. One of the disadvantages to this is the fact that I am watching live TV, not something from the greatness of the Tivo box. See, with Tivo, I can fast forward through commercials and get back to programmed goodness, not commercials that sell me everything I will ever need.

Since I have had a chance to catch a few of these advertising gems, I wanted to comment on them.

1) There is an ad for a Fungus remedy for your feet. Yes that is right, a fungus amoung us. The ad itself is not more shocking than the "meet Bob's woody" or anything else. What is the bad part is the cartoon cracked out cat looking thing lifting up the cartoon toenail and climbing in like its a damn hatchback. *shudder*
(upon searching for commercial links on YouTube, I was not able to locate this one, and a Google search turned up that I am not the only one disturbed by this commercial.)

2) Man Laws Ok, I get it. Guys have rules about certain things that are unspoken, and drinking a beer with Burt Reynolds will create said rules. Wait, Wha...?

3) Head On. Apply directly to forehead. I think I will stop there.

4) Orbits Gum You know the campaign with the British chick and the filthy mouths or whatnot. The ad in question is the Snoop Dogg ad, in which Snoop drops into Hell with some old ladies and a goat and told that because of his dirty mouth, he is there forever. And then British Chicky shows up. You then see Snoop in a white room with hot chicks and whatnot. IF you can, read the fine print as it shows Snoop tripping gansta like in God's Crib. It says and I swear "dramatization: Chewing Orbits will not get you into Heaven." Have we really gotten so insane as a society they have to have a disclaimer on a freaking chewing gum commercial? Why dont they also point out that when you chew their gum, you dont get that little light sparkle from your teeth afterwards? I am going to sue.

Thursday, August 10, 2006

Sugar mommas and daddys alike...

If your hunting for the munkey's next birthday gift, look no further than here....

Munkey Birthday

That is NOT a fastball!

You know, everyone has memories from childhood. Those moments at the fair, or that time you got to drive the new family car. My childhood was really nothing to write home about, but I was for the most part a happy kid.

Many of my memories were stored on videocassette, things like graduation, prom, my days at school, plays that I was in, and little stuff like that. For much of my adult life, those tapes have gathered dust at my parents house, or in a storage shed somewhere in between. Recently, my parents have realized that as far as children go, I was going to be the best of the lot. My sister is somewhere in the world, drugged out of her mind, and living it up, without contact from the rest of her family.

When my grandparents health became a concern, my mother realized she had things I should get, because I was the only family member that had a stable life, a house, and she could not find my sister. So I was gifted with a stack of videos and photographs. Of course my father told me I should duplicate the videos and get them back to them as soon as possible, I guess because they need a placeholder for the dirt, dust and grime in their house.

So recently I started going through the tapes, to see what was there. Oh look, my graduation ceremony. My senior and junior proms, or at least me and my date showing up in fancy garb, and my parents making the usual parents lines. Me at the radio station I worked at my senior year. A few play that I was in. I had visions of putting those tapes on DVD and having memories forever.

Until I got to the first tape. There is about 10 minutes of video that appears to have been recorded on super high speed, so that is not usable, but really it was just footage of our family vacation to Las Vegas. Yes that is right folks, some families go to Disney, we went to Vegas, baby. After that first 10 minutes, it was…well, it was a Lifetime movie starring Kate Jackson. I am not kidding here, the next 2 hours was dedicated to a movie. But I went past the movie, and by the way, VCRs kind of suck. I have become used to DVD and chapters, not manually hitting the fast forward button. But I digress, after Kate, we have Unsolved Mysteries. Lovely.

I move on in the tape rotation to what was supposed to be Nolan Ryan’s 300th victory in Milwakee. I rewind the tape to the beginning and hit play. I am greeted by a, well to be honest, it was a dick. No really. Apparently the tape had been recorded at least halfway, by porn. Bad, 80’s porn with a title like hot milk maids of san diego or something. Seriously. I hit the forward button, probably sooner than I needed and harder than I needed, but really, I did not want to venture down the “my parents recorded over some of my favorite childhood memories with bad 80’s porn” nostalgia. Part of the game was still in tact, but now I am not sure if I want to burn that to a dvd. The special place in my heart has been wiped out most effectivly now. Thank you very much.

So I guess I will quit worrying about those tapes while I have some wholesome memories left.