Tuesday, December 27, 2005


Ah yes, the Holidays. That time of year that people you really dont talk to the rest of the year arrive at your house, you spend a lot of money on gifts that wind up either getting regifted to their pool boy, or better yet, go back to the store for something they really wanted in the first place. Ho Ho Ho.

Well, we are past them folks. Now comes New Years. Its not really a holiday. It's more of an excuse for adults that are mature and grown up to take one night of the year and drink like they are 19, sneaking liquor from under the sink. Of course that usually leads to puking on the boxwoods around 3am, but sometimes that is ok. It reminds us why we don't drink like that the rest of the year. Much

I actually have the week between Christmas and New Years off from work. Granted, being a contractor, I don't get paid for this time off, but its a chance to recharge. TO get things done around the house. So what am I doing with my first day? Blogging. Heee.

Actually I came here to relay a funny.

We are a cluttered household. Man, we have stuff stacked, and need to go through, but just have not had time. I have a pile of crap on my desk for the past few months, I don't know what is there, but I am sure I need it. It does not help that I am the world's worst packrat. So I started looking at our front room, where the bookshelves are. I guess you could refer to it as the library, but that sounds so snotty. As I am looking to see if I can part with any paperback, and make a little room, I find 7 books with titles like "How to Declutter..."

Ah I know how to declutter!!!!Eleven!!!11

Stop buying the damn books!

Anyway, I am going to go through this laundry basket of crap and see why I have saved it for 6 months. Wish me luck.

And Happy Holidays, really, even if you take that sweater back I bought you, and trade it in for a Xbox game, its the thought that counts.

Thursday, December 22, 2005

All these things that I have done...

Just a quick catch up of sorts, and hopefully I can get more details over the next week, as i am going to be off work after Christmas until after New Years. Until then I have...

drank way too much whiskey

had steaks at 2 high end restaurants, the first I told you about, the second, I would not really suggest. It was a bit too pretentious for my tastes.

Worked a lot, but been reassigned, so my job revolves around cleaning, stacking and otherwise letting my IT skills go to waste for the most part.

Been to a party in a phonebooth, but it was one hell of a party.

figured out that sometimes, there are people that bend the rules just like I do, only this time it worked to my benefit.

planned a big christmas feast, cancelled a christmas feast, planned a christmas feast.

Began getting things in order for a "festivus" party on new years eve, complete with a patio heater for us smokers.

drank more whiskey

learned that I will actually eat lobster and shrimp, if prepared correctly.

wondered if I should do another whiskey run.

Hopefully I can detail more as time goes on, but for now, here it is.

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Food Orgasm

Last night, Mrs. Ninjamunkey and I celebrated our 5th wedding anniversary. We had reservations for The Fort Worth Chop House. Its a higher end steak house in Downtown Fortworth. I had been looking forward to it most of the week, a time to celebrate, to be a couple, to have a date. The day was shaping up good. I found this right after getting to work. Sweet huh?

I ordered 2 dozen roses, and had them sent to her office. I don't think she had any idea, so that was cool. I went to the store and pick up a bottle of champagne to celebrate with after dinner. I rushed home, after having to stay late for a little meeting with my boss. I showered, and got dressed up. At 5:38pm I get a text message:

Ok so a little damper, but not a big deal. I called the restaurant and pushed the reservation back from 7 to 7:45. at 6:30 she was finally on her way. She got here, changed clothes, and we left.

Its been over an year since i have navigated downtown, but I think I did a great job of guiding us around traffic, and we made it to the restaurant around 8:05. They took us right to our table, and the festivities began.

Understand I was a fat kid. Not only was I fat, I was poor. So going somewhere that the average tab is over 100 bucks for 2 people, and having what can only be described as a fantastic steak, well I was in fat kid heaven. The food, AMAZING. The prices, steep. The crown and cokes? 8 bucks. But they were closer to doubles, maybe even triples. We had 3 each.

We consumed a little of everything last night, not finishing one single dish. It was like a sample here, and a sample there. I ate shrimp scampi for the first time in my life, and loved it. (I hate seafood, or so I was lead to believe) I ate lobster tail that was amazing. It melted in my mouth. Oh my god, my fat boy heart was exploding.

But like all things, you grow up. I knew I could not hold that amount of food, and stopped, and then they brought dessert. A bread pudding with fresh berries. A flourless godiva chocolate cake. Dear god!

All in all, it was an amazing time, and I had someone wonderful to share it with. Probably the finest meal I have ever had, and the greatest date of my life.

Thank you Ali, for 5 wonderful years.

As an aside, I had been planning a entry for yesterday, detailing things that have gone on in the past five years, and how much she meant to me, and what life was like now, and then she posted hers. I did not want to appear to be stealing thunder, so I did not post it. But I will summarize, 5 years=me being the luckiest guy on the face of the earth.

Thursday, December 15, 2005

The Santa Incident-Innocence lost

So yesterday, Ali posted about never being told the Santa myth. I feel bad, because I think every child should at least attempt to believe in Santa. There is a whole sense of wonder, and joy, and the belief of magic. That a fat man flies reindeer across the night, climbing down chimneys and delivering toys to all good boys and girls. Sure, as an adult I thought about Santa knowing when I was sleeping, when I was awake, and my goodness meter, and really, its kinda creepy, but hey its still cool. It is Tradition.

Someone posted a comment on how she was lucky she never found out her parents were lying to her like they did.

I kinda snapped. A bit. (ok it was like 5:40 in the morning, and I am not the greatest morning person) Lying? Seriously? I had parents that lied to me. But I did not hold it againts them for the Santa thing. I believe the sense of wonder that comes from believing in something made up, the attempt to hold something traditional year after year, and well, lets be honest, parents need an edge trying to get thier kids to behave.

Think about it. In elementary school, did a kid come back from Christmas break, and announce that he got nothing, because he was bad? Never. Sure some kids went without, and I remember a 3rd grader that got a carton of smokes, but that is another family all together. No one was ever held out on, and blamed Santa for it.

I am not a christmas person. Its very hard for me to get fired up about it year after year, especially when Walmart starts announcing how many days until christmas in July. Christmas has become a reason to sell more merchandise in the stores, and buy crappy things for relatives that you dont see the rest of the year. But I still get a bit of a shiver down my spine with NORAD tracks santa, and the news teams do announcements about where he is on Christmas Eve. I never wanted to go anywhere on Christmas eve, because, what if Santa missed my house cause I was not there? I used to scan the night skys as we drove from my grandmothers house, looking for that red light scooting across the sky.

My parents were sometimes too honest with me. Once, after practicing all day with a neighbor on my electric guitar, I learned Van Halens "you really got me" opening riffs. I was maybe 12. I ran home and plugged in and called mom and dad into the living room to show off what I had learned. After playing it through, my dad looks at me, and says "that's it?" I did not touch a guitar again for 12 years.

So parents, if you tell kids there is a Santa, your not a horrible person. Your keeping a little bit of hope alive in a otherwise drab world. I plan on fully playing the santa thing with the baby munkey. Let him have fun knowing the truth and playing along, just like I did, its a right of passage.

Wednesday, December 07, 2005

catching up...

So I have had many moments over the last few days to write about, but trying to find time to post them has not been easy. I was out sick yesterday, but it was not a rest day for me.

I will start at the beginning...

First, my darling 2 year old baby munkey was sitting in his seat in the car this weekend as a large Hummer drove past. His pointed observation? "Hey look, its a school bus!" Ah, youth.

Sunday, we decided to impose a family day. We went to Dallas to the Dallas World Aquarium to see the sites. I must say, at 16 bucks a person, it was a little dissappointing. The manatees were hanging in thier tank, and actually looked dead. The penguins were bored, and the fish displays were only so-so. Even the big draw for me, the monkeys, were tired, having apparently had a rough Saturday night. The best part was a tunnel walk through where the sharks swam over your head. Quite cool, and baby munkey was quite impressed that something could swim over my head, being the giant that I am not.

Yesterday, Tuesday, I called in sick to work. I assume that the weather going from 89 degrees on Saturday to 30 today had something to do with it. I did have to make a journey to Garland, to retreive our former dog. Apparently the person that we found him a home with decided he was too much trouble and dumped him out. When called on it, he actually said he was too busy for him. So I traveled to Garland, and payed the fees and got him out of the pound, and I think last night we found him a wonderful home.

Today, the weather man is calling for snow and ice. In Texas they might as well say armageddon, because people prepare for it. They make runs on the grocery store, and no one wants to go to work. Right now its probably upper 20's with a light mist. If we get actual precipitation, its going to be a messy drive home. But see, I understand how to drive in it, the key is going slow. Everyone else thinks that if you hurry, you can get home before it gets worse. I dont have to worry about the ice, I have to worry about the idiots on the ice. "Disney presents: Idiots on Ice"

that is all I have for now, doing to work of 2 people is tough enough, but when you are run down and sick, its hell.

Have fun, stay young!