Tuesday, February 14, 2006

Remember the Alamo, with a T shirt

So this weekend we went to San Antonio, Texas for a mini vacation. Along for the ride, we had the baby munkey, Mrs. Ninjamunkey and Grandma (insert nickname here, but I am voting for Cocktail). We stayed at the world famous Menger hotel. Built in 1859, it has hosted people from Babe Ruth to that one guy that killed his girlfriend on the 3rd floor back in the 1930's. Oh yeah, and was designated as one of the most haunted places in Texas. Course, how did it get that title? Was there like a haunt off? Was the menger told that if it could not fufill its duties as the most haunted place in Texas, that some other location would step in?

The Menger is actually across the courtyard from the Alamo. It was actually a fun trip, but I have a few complaints.

1) the Riverwalk is waaaay cool. But seriously. Do I need to walk through a Shopping mall to get to every single part of it?

2) Shit stands. You know what they are. Every 10 feet there is a stand to purchase something you never needed, or did not know you needed until you see it. The San Antonio Zoo was guilty of this. There were small boxes around each corner that had ceramic toucans sitting on the alamo. It was gaudy, and therefore they became "Shit Stands"

3) There is no # 3

4) The Alamo. I can't take pictures, but around each corner someone named "Diablo 98" was able to scrawl his name into the wall with a sharpie? Huh? Fishnets? I just wanted pictures of the inside. I was looking for the damn basement, and I could not find it. But I did find 800 clear boxes containing 1 dollar, each labeled "help the Alamo". And really, I may be jaded, but how am I supposed to belive that the piece of wood in the corner was actually from Daniel Boone's house in Kentucky? It was a stick with a homedepot sku on it. Oh and those really cool buildings that used to house the women and children, or were the funeral pyre locations? You can now get a replica bullwhip, coonskin cap, and bowie knife all for the low low price of 100 dollars. Enjoy, but don't take any photos.

5) Old Hotels. Yes they do in fact have charm. Its cool to think your hanging out in a place frequented by presidents, Oscar Wilde, and socialites. But the downside to old hotels? They do not have room adjustable Air Conditioning. Our room, on the 5th floor, averaged 80-85 degrees the whole time, because the hotel had the heat on. We tried to open the windows, but they were those anti-jumper windows, you know they open about 4 inches. Never has a 3 dollar ice cream sandwich tasted so good.


6) In room movies. While sitting in our sauna of a room, we decided to watch a movie. "Its easy, and for one low price watch a movie that is still in theatres" What they don't tell you is that one low price is 10 bucks, and without a Tivo like device, you cannot pause the movie for potty breaks or drink refills. Not nearly as good as being at home. But we did watch Jarhead. The book is better.

We had some fun. We were nagged by Gramma Cocktail a lot, because she did not think we would be walking so much, and would take cabs I guess. The riverwalk would be hard to navigate in a taxi, from what I can tell. Most everything there was closed. Apparently year round fun starts in mid march. Figure that statement out.

2 comments:

Leemer said...

First, I'm sorry you didn't find your bike.

Second, allow me to suggest (belatedly, which is very apt for me) what I think is the coolest place to visit in SA: The Lone Star Brewery.

And not just for the (one) free beer at the bar when you're ready, but because of the Buckhorn Hall of Horns. Effin greatness...

Ali said...

they don't brew vodka there. Gramma Cocktail would have never gone for it...