radio check...

So it was pointed out to me this weekend that I have not posted in a while. The main goal was to hold off posting until I could reveal a great bit of news concerning the career. While the news has not turned sour by any means, it is still shelved until I get the official OK. So I wait. And I go to a job that I really don't like at all. And I wait. I check my email at least 15 times a day from work, hoping beyond hope that I will have something there. I check my phone randomly to see if it is turned on, and if I have managed to miss some calls. I move around here at work like I am in a fog. Its not that I dont have things to do, I just don't want to. They want me to go permanant here, and have made a job offer, but it was followed with what can only be called a back handed compliment, and really come to think of it, was not complimentary at all. Imagine spending 12 years of your life doing something, knowing that you are better than 90% of the work force at your job, and being told that you could be replaced with an hourly worker and it would take a few weeks to get them up to speed. So yeah, it was a slap in the face, and so I don't give them an answer about the job. I come in each day, do my work, and get out of here at quickly as possible.

I have taken to being a lot more undiciplined with work than I ever have before. Since I have to be here before dawn, I often go into the server room, turn off the lights and snooze for 30 minutes to an hour. Today, I had to be here 30 minutes earlier than normal, in case any issues come up. Its apparently a Monday morning rule now. Of course I was here at 4:40am, and was the only person around. I also do not have keys to the gates and fences, so I spent the first 25 minutes of my shift listening to the Ipod and sitting in the parking lot of a corner store.

I know there are people out there that are still looking for jobs, and I used to feel guilty for complaining about being one of the highest paid janitor/IT/human relations people around. Now, I just want to leave.