Tuesday, July 26, 2005

my wife the porn star

One day, about a week ago, mrs. Ninjamunkey posted a blog on her site. Apparently a friend she works with found a porn actress he thought she resembled. So he forwards her photos, which she posted on her site. When she showed me, of course my first reaction was “ok that is kinda icky, I don’t watch porn and compare the actresses to my friends, there is something off about that” but then my followup reaction was “hmmm, that is odd, she does kinda resemble mrs. Ninjamunkey.” So of course, being a dutiful husband, I had to go out and download some of the porn in question, as research. Yes, she actually does have some similarities to my wife, around the eyes, the eyebrows, stuff like that. The boobs, much larger, but fake, so not nearly as nice. Yes, you heard it here first, I am not a fan of the fake boobies.

Apparently, said porn star is a big fetish queen. She likes to be tied up, and whatnot. While a little bit of that is cool, something about the ball gag and such gets a little too deep into the “ummm, Im a little uncomfortable” zone. Something about gimps, and pulp fiction, I guess.

So after some research, I have determined that my wife is as hot as the porn star in question, hotter actually. There is something about porn stars that have always turned me off. Its that movie theatre floor mentality. I know its sticky, and I don’t know with what, and I really don’t want to know, so its best not to go barefoot in there. It’s the same thing. I absolutely do not need a porn star, when I have something better waiting on me at home.

So while the similarities are kinda neat, in a different sort of way, please don’t think my wife is a porno queen, and for the love of god, leave that in your pants when you talk to her.

1 comment:

Leemer said...

Guess I'll never talk to your wife again... dammit.